Lori Wehmann was convinced she and her husband had come up with the perfect New Year's resolution for her family of six boys: incorporate more exercise into the family routine by planning some type of physical activity four times a week. But the boys, ages 11 to 3, surprised her and suggested one she likes even better.
"They said they thought we should help other people more because our family is so blessed," Wehmann said. So each Wehmann boy will take a month and plan a community service activity. "They will probably be pretty simple, but we'll be doing them together," she said. The exercise resolution is also staying.
The new year is a good time for families to take stock and brainstorm ideas about how to strengthen the bonds of their family in 2010.
"It's a great way for families to come together on a neutral topic. It's an opportunity to set goals as a family or make a statement to other family members about your individual goals," said Robin McLeod, licensed psychologist and founder of Counseling Psychologists of Woodbury.
While New Year's resolutions are often geared toward changing negative behaviors, McLeod said the most effective family resolutions focus on the positive. "Look back at the best things your family did in the past year, then look at what you want to keep doing together," she said.
The hectic pace of today's world might have families wondering if there is a resolution that can help them slow it down. According to Marti Erickson, founding director of the University of Minnesota's Children, Youth and Family Consortium and board member of the Children and Nature Network, the answer is right outside the door.
"Kids spend an average of 44 hours in front of some type of screen every week," Erickson said. "They aren't learning from nature and the environment the way children once did."
Spending just one hour a day taking a family walk, skating, or just relaxing outdoors helps everyone to connect and de-stress. "It's a low-effort, high-impact way to strengthen family life," Erickson said.
For the Pennaz family, the new year is a good time to revisit their family mission statement, a document they created five years ago. Karen Pennaz, parent educator for Early Childhood Family Education (ECFE) in Orono, said establishing specific family goals and attributes has been worthwhile.
Fewer than 20 simple bullet points address subjects like listening to one another, honoring commitments and respecting each other at all times.
"Steve and I began the process of writing the mission statement using a list of words or phrases we thought described our family," she said. "Supportive," "religious," "independent" and "fun" were some of the words.
The mission statement has become a blueprint for their family, which includes Madeline, 12, and Pierce, 9. "The kids are really proud of it," she said. "We try to look it over every few months. The last time we did, Madeline said, 'We're doing a pretty good job as a family!'"
Julie Pfitzinger is a West St. Paul freelance writer. Got an idea for the Your Family page? E-mail us at Tellus@startribune.com with "Your Family" in the subject line.
