It seems everyone lost something during Week 5 of the NFL season.
Let's start in Chicago, where Bears fans lost that perpetual sense of hopelessness at quarterback. At least temporarily. But stay tuned. These folks get grumpy when they haven't seen a Pro Bowl passer since Jim McMahon in 1985.
And they are fickle. If Mike Glennon had fumbled inside his 20-yard line and threw an interception that handed the Vikings a chip-shot, game-winning field goal, they would be enraged by two more game-killing turnovers in another lost season. But when rookie Mitch Trubisky does that in his NFL debut, it's hailed as a necessary education.
Just try not to learn too much more the hard way, Mitch.
In New York, the Giants' formerly can't-lose offense lost Odell Beckham Jr. and Brandon Marshall for the season. And Eli Manning seems to be losing any chance of a graceful exit from the Big Apple.
In Houston, the Texans defense lost J.J. Watt and Whitney Mercilus for the season.
And speaking of Houston, in Cleveland, the Browns keep adding to their Ring of Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda Quarterbacks. Last year's inductee, Philly's Carson Wentz, has now slipped the anything-but-orange jacket on this year's enshrinee, Houston's Deshaun Watson.
In New Orleans, a round hole (Saints offense) lost its square peg (Adrian Peterson) when the latter was traded to Arizona for a conditional draft pick. The desperate Cardinals get a boost for their invisible running game, while AP's final last stand will come in the desert, as Emmitt Smith's once did.
In Miami, now-former Dolphins offensive line coach Chris Foerster took the inside lane on Oddest NFL Story of the Year. He has resigned after a 56-second video on social media showed him snorting three lines of a powdery white substance.