The only way this story could get more absurd would be for Lohan to request asylum in Ireland under the "red hair" clause, or stumble up to St. Peter's in Vatican City, knock on the door with the heel of her show and demand diplomatic immunity. If that's not successful, it seems likely she'll be clapped in irons when she gets off the plane when she lands in the part of the world the rest of us call "Reality." Says TMZ:
Of course, she's not to blame; "associates" - a word that means an enabling, parasitical hanger-on - says the passport may have been stolen. Yes, that's exactly what happened. A band of mercenaries, possibly led by Jean Reno, carefully extracted her documents after administering knock-out drops in the hotel's complimentary mouthwash.
Update: let the celebrity skating begin! AP says:
