Local biz that pampers new moms goes coast to coast

Go Home Gorgeous got start-up financing from Terry, the gay roller-skating prostitute, in "Reno 911!"

Really. But first the less-amusing facet of Rachel Swardson Wenham's eight-month-old Minnesota company that pampers new moms by turning their hospital rooms into spa-spital rooms just before they take home their new bundles of joy.

After the birth of her third child, Franklin, she was at Abbott Northwestern Hospital feeling overwhelmed by life and underwhelmed by her postpartum experience. "This is not healing. Nothing about this is conducive to wellness; I want someone to come in and mother me," she recalled thinking, contemplating taking Frank, now 3, home to his siblings Vivien, 5, and Oscar, 6.

"I wrote the business plan ... on the back of my lactation instructions," she said.

Go Home Gorgeous stayed on that piece of paper another two years.

Shortly after Frank's birth, her husband, financial adviser Sean Wenham, had major back surgery. Because her husband was not able to work as much, she supplemented the family's income by nannying a child. Then her marriage broke up.

I'm told, but not by Rachel, that she was barely able to drag herself out of bed some days. But the promise of the business gave Wenham the inspiration when her life was falling apart. One day she was up and reading a copy of "Small Business Guide for Dummies," while her brother, comedian-actor Nick Swardson, was in town. "Nick comes upstairs at 2:30 in the afternoon, because that's about the time he wakes up, totally groggy. Hasn't brushed his teeth yet. Looks like hell. He looks over at me, picks up [the book], waves it in my face and says, What are you doing?"

Now, Go Home Gorgeous has a contract with Fairview Southdale and Fairview Ridges hospitals, a new COO and plans to launch businesses in Arizona, Illinois, California and Massachusetts.

"It is tapping into a marketplace that people ignore," Wenham said. The cost is between $45-$189. Staff members will do any service a spa will and also offer bed rest support, which includes bedicures, as in pedicures while you're in bed.

"It's so funny to look at all these women who are being pampered and restored and think it was all made possible by Terry, the gay roller-skating prostitute," said Wenham, who noted that Comedy Central is considering an animated show featuring a gay robot character created by her wacky brother.

After some phone tag with the busy comedian who's Adam Sandler's right-hand man, I heard from Nick Swardson: "I'm obviously so proud of my sister. I think it's really cool. To think of something creative to give back to mothers is really great. I'm thinking of doing a similar 'Go Home Gorgeous' for men who are leaving the bar late at night, who want to go home and not look drunk and hung over."

Presidential timber Champlin's Darick Buhr, 6, is scheduled to name all 44 presidents in a minute on Rachael Ray's show. See it Monday at 2 p.m. on KARE11.

She left here for the N.Y. Times, which she departed for SI, where she broke the story about Alex Rodriguez testing positive for steroids in 2003. "What makes me upset is that Sports Illustrated pays this lady, Selena Roberts, to stalk me," A-Rod told Peter Gammons in an ESPN interview in which the slugger admitted Roberts' story was accurate. Gammons, who just sat there and didn't defend Roberts, later told Deadspin.com that, in retrospect, he should have interrupted A-Rod's rant on Selena.

Roberts issued a statement shooting down all of A-Rod's ridiculous claims related to what he chose to characterize as stalking. When will these sports and political prima donnas learn that when reporters want you, they'll come looking if you fail to return phone calls. A-Rod is just mad Roberts caught him.

I expect she'll be on some TV news shows today.

By the way, when Roberts was covering Brian Billick, he was the Vikings' offensive coordinator. "This lady" would have been much nicer than some of his taunts were.