Lileks: For roadside rescue in bitter cold, just enter your password

As we left the airport and headed into rush-hour traffic, a warning light appeared on the dashboard: a picture of the engine. Well, that narrows it down. Thanks. The car started to buck, and then it made a sound like a horse huffing a feed bag full of glue. The next thing I knew, we were going only 15 miles per hour.

Well, no worries.

"Siri, fix engine." Nothing.

"Alexa, fix engine." Nothing.

So much for 21st-century technology. I limped to the shoulder. Traffic whizzed past, caring naught for our plight.

"When was the last time you changed the oil?" Wife asked.

"Changed the oil, you say? Explain. Kidding! I think a bird flew in the engine. That happens at airports."

"OK," I told my wife. "Stay calm. I have those hand-warmer things I buy every year and never use. There's soup. I have extra hand warmers to cook it. Here — this is your emergency whistle. You saw 'Titanic,' right? Blow on it to alert rescuers."

I set about dealing with the situation. First step: Call AAA. I didn't know what to expect because I have never called them for something like this. Once a year, I let the air out of my tires so I can call them and get my money's worth.

They said a tow would be along in the next three hours. I reminded them I would be dead by then, so please discontinue auto-renew.

Next step: Get Uber for my wife. And here our troubles really began. We both had new phones. Uber wanted to know our passwords. We did not know our passwords. No problem: I have a password management app. But because this was a new phone, the app did not have permission to access Dropbox without my Dropbox password. This I didn't know. I could sign in with Google, but I didn't know my Google password, either.

So there I was: I couldn't remember the password for the password for the password for the app that summons Uber, but at least I had hand warmers so I'd have the manual dexterity required to type out my last will and testament.