I'm busy with last-minute holiday panic. It comes in two varieties:
1. Getting the stocking stuffers. Hint: If the kid gets everything out of the stocking, looks at candy bars, lottery tickets, hand warmers, an egg sandwich in cellophane and snuff, you'll have to explain that Santa now stops at the gas station before he makes his rounds.
Of course, it's not any easier shopping for adults. At the mall, you see desperate men at the perfume counter, telling the clerk, "Well, she's a size 4, does that help?" Or they're in the appliance section trying to find a Belgian waffle maker that is Bluetooth-enabled and sends a message to your phone when the waffle is ready.
2. Worrying over weather ruining travel plans. In the old days, you could take the train, and those diesel beasts could blast through anything. They wouldn't be delayed six hours because the track had been closed for plowing and now there were 36 trains circling the station.
In the era before trains, a storm meant you simply didn't go, because you would perish. If it was dicey, you'd pack a good knife in case you had to spend the blizzard inside a dead horse to keep warm.
We can imagine the conversation couples had before setting out:
"Did you pack the knife in case we get caught in a storm and the horse dies and we have to get inside?"
"Yes, woman, I packed the knife."
