All post offices should be closed. Except for the one closest to my house. For that matter, can we be finished with daily mail deliveries? Except when I'm waiting for a check, that is.
No one really needs mail, do they?
Not according to that fearsome group of societal disrupters, the millennials. A recent study of Virginia college students discovered that most don't vote absentee because they didn't know where to get stamps.
I know what you're saying — college-aged people aren't necessarily millennials. Wrong. Anyone under 40 who doesn't do things the way I do is a millennial, dagnabbit. They don't eat cereal or buy houses. They avoid chain restaurants. They're killing the automotive industry because they all want an app that has an Uber driver deliver a bike.
In short, it's no surprise they can't find stamps. They couldn't find 'em on their keister if you papered both cheeks with Forever stamps.
Excuse my outburst. First of all, it's tiresome to bash the young for not embracing the old ways. Stamps are odd commodities. You can buy them at the grocery store, but you cannot buy bananas at the post office. You can get stamps from the ATM, even though you never mail cash, but you can't get stamps sent by the company that makes your checks.
Everyone over a certain age has a few stamps in the junk drawer. You feel rich if you have an entire book, ready for anything: "I'm all set in case I have to send a card — which I do about as regularly as I have my furnace checked. But I'm all set."
If some millennials are flummoxed by stamps, it just suggests a generational disinterest in mail. They're on to something. Every day the dog barks when the mailman makes his delivery, and I tell him the same thing: "It doesn't do any good, and it's annoying for everyone." I can't remember what I tell my dog, but it's along the same lines.
