How many plants do you have in your house? You might reply "define plants." Well, a head of lettuce in the fridge doesn't count. I ask because there's a new study from homeadvisor.com about the best states for indoor green-thumbery, and of course you want to know how we do. Let's look at the key "findings" of this important survey;
Fact No. 1: "Nebraska and California residents are the most likely to kill their plants."
I think they could rephrase that. It sounds intentional. It's as though you've been staring at that potted moron for weeks. What does it do? It sits there, demanding water. Now and then it drops a leaf, like it's dying or something. Such drama.
Finally, you just can't take it anymore. You spring at the plant and snap off the stem at the base — then stagger back, appalled at what you've done. Should you call a friend who knows how to cover up things like this? Or should you confess? You end up burying it in the backyard, hoping the neighbors don't see and tell the cops.
"Well, I wouldn't have thought anything about it, folks dig in the garden all the time, but it was 1 a.m. and he kept saying he was sorry."
Fact No. 2: "Of Americans surveyed, 1 in 4 prefer plants to pets."
Understandable. One rarely finds a fern scratching the bedroom door at daybreak demanding to be fed. But one in four? I guess 25% of the respondents come home, feed the fern, put it in the wagon and walk it around the block.
Maybe that's a good idea. Maybe our plants would like to get out of the house now and then. In spring there are some sun-porch plants that go back outside, and I always wonder if they think, "Am I out on parole, or was my sentence commuted?" When they go back inside in October, it has to be a shock: "What'd I do?"