Let's mock the 2042 draft

May 1, 2017 at 4:07AM
An adorable black baby in a diaper and US flag bandanna playing with a football. Isolated on white.
An adorable black baby in a diaper and US flag bandanna playing with a football. Isolated on white. (The Minnesota Star Tribune)

The 2017 NFL draft just ended, which naturally means it's time to start fixating about future drafts. If you haven't already read — or ignored — a mock draft projecting which players will be chosen in the 2018 draft, which is a mere 360-some days away, you will soon.

The obvious question is: Do we need all of this? The obvious answer is no.

A less obvious question: Why are these mock drafters limiting themselves by only looking one year into the future? The less obvious answer is that it's about time to fix that.

Why not go 25 years into the future in an attempt to predict the future of the Vikings' draft? The chances of being correct are about the same as they are for the 2018 version. Here, then, is your "way-too-early" 2042 Vikings mock draft. We'll assume for the sake of simplicity that it's still a seven-round draft and that the NFL still exists.

First round: The organization's search for a franchise quarterback will continue when they select one with their top pick. The Vikings will say they are certain this quarterback will succeed, finally breaking a cycle that has seen them choose quarterbacks in the first round in 2011, 2014, 2019, 2025, 2031 and 2036 without a Super Bowl title to show for it.

Second round: Taking advantage of new NFL rules finally designed to help defenses — in response to the 2041 season, which will see seven different quarterbacks top 10,000 yards passing — the Vikings will select a speedy cornerback.

Third round: In a trade with the 2041 Super Bowl champions from London, the Vikings will be able to grab a promising young running back. Most draft experts had him graded in the first or second round, but a virtual reality scandal caused him to tumble. The Vikings will say they have no concerns about his character issues going forward.

Fourth round: Blown away by a performance they saw at the NFL combine — which now takes three weeks — the Vikings will pick a defensive lineman. This prospect was particularly impressive in the combine's new 87-cone drill.

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Fifth round: On a constant quest for more team speed and hoping to give their new quarterback a fresh young target, the Vikings will choose a swift wide receiver with this pick. Experts are divided on his upside, but the young man declares himself the steal of the draft. Yes, some things never change.

Sixth round: The Vikings, who are preparing to move into their new outdoor stadium to replace the obsolete U.S. Bank Stadium, decide here to draft a college placekicker used to kicking in the elements.

Seventh round: In a stunning tribute to former General Manager Rick Spielman, the Vikings manage to acquire via trades every single draft pick in the seventh round. A teary-eyed Spielman, now 79 and retired, declares it a masterpiece. The Vikings use their 32 picks on 13 offensive linemen, seven defensive backs, five defensive linemen, three wide receivers, two linebackers and two punters.

about the writer

about the writer

Michael Rand

Columnist / Reporter

Michael Rand is the Minnesota Star Tribune's Digital Sports Senior Writer and host/creator of the Daily Delivery podcast. In 25 years covering Minnesota sports at the Minnesota Star Tribune, he has seen just about everything (except, of course, a Vikings Super Bowl).

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