Legislature adjourned with a lot of 'ifs'

Unallotment. The poorest of the poor. Nanny state. Cocoa bean mulch. If none of those terms means much to you, you haven't been paying attention to the recently adjourned legislative session. That's OK. Let us summarize what it means to you:

If you ... think unallotment means "the process of not having such a lot," well, close enough. Gov. Tim Pawlenty has pledged to use a process known as unallotment to balance the state budget for the 2-year period that begins July 1, the start of a new fiscal year, because he and legislators couldn't reach a budget agreement. Pawlenty essentially will reduce funding for such programs as state aid to cities and hospitals on his own.

If you ... are the kind of person whose blood boils at the thought of special legislative sessions, breathe easy. There apparently won't be one.

If you ... were worried that state parks or highway rest areas might close this summer because of a budget impasse, as they did in 2005, go ahead with your plans to explore Minnesota. No shutdown looms.

If you ... are a carp, say your prayers. More Minnesota lakes can be opened to nighttime bow fishing, a sport that makes an easy mark of rough fish that feed at night in shallow water, sort of like that guy you met at the club last weekend. (H.F. 1237)

If you ... were hoping Minnesota would join 13 other states in legalizing the use of medical marijuana, you came that close. The bill passed the House and Senate but was vetoed by Pawlenty, who expressed sympathy for those suffering but also cited public safety concerns. Look for a possible constitutional amendment effort next year. (S.F. 97)

If you ... are a wild rice gatherer, take more of the summer off. The start of the season for harvesting wild rice was moved from July 15 to Aug. 15. (H.F. 1237)

If you ... are a student or teacher taking abuse online because of your personal characteristics, the school board has your back. An expanded anti-bullying bill prohibits harassment on the Internet, as well as taking other steps designed to deter bullying. (S.F. 971) However, the bill was vetoed by Gov. Pawlenty, who said in his veto message that it is "duplicative of current law, which directly and clearly prohibits bullying of any type against any student for any reason."

If you ... are a same-sex couple looking for China patterns, put the order on hold or consider relocating to Keokuk (Iowa). Bills to make the state's marriage law gender-neutral never got off the ground.

If you ... are a Dakota Indian, a warm and overdue welcome home to Minnesota. Lawmakers are asking Congress to strike a 146-year-old federal statute that banished the tribe from the state after the Dakota Conflict of 1862. (S.F. 1623)

If you ... are a broken hero on a last-chance power drive, there are glory days ahead. A law inspired by Bruce Springsteen's rant against bait-and-switch tactics prohibits online ticket sellers from pushing buyers toward more expensive resale sites. (H.F. 819)

If you ... are a person with a court-appointed guardian, you've got a new bill of rights and more options to challenge the professionals who make decisions for you. (H.F. 818)

If you ... are a resident of the Dayton's Bluff neighborhood in St. Paul, think twice about pointing a laser at that twin-engine Cessna that keeps buzzing your neighborhood from St. Paul Downtown Airport. It's now a gross misdemeanor to knowingly point a laser at an aircraft. It had been a seldom enforced federal offense. (S.F. 1408)

If you ... are concerned about who might be looking at your face on Facebook, or taking up space on your MySpace, rest a little easier. Convicted predatory offenders will be prohibited from using those social networking sites. (H.F. 1301)

If you ... worry about the sip from your kid's sippy cup, health-conscious moms and dads can know that baby bottles and sippy cups containing the controversial chemical bisphenol-A (or BPA) are banned in Minnesota for kids 3 or younger after January 2010. (S.F. 247)

If you ... are driving with youngsters in the car, you'll have to have booster seats for those up to age 8 starting July 1. The law says kids between 4 and 8 years old have to be in booster seats or other forms of child restraint if they are shorter than 4 feet 9 inches tall; the current law on child restraints goes up to age 4. (S.F. 99)

If you ... are a member of Gov. Tim Pawlenty's staff, the money for your paycheck now actually comes out of the governor's office. Interagency agreements -- through which some Pawlenty staff had portions of their salaries paid by other state agencies -- have been scuttled. (S.F. 2082)

If you ... want to work on the railroad all the live long day, blow your horn, you are in luck. There's $26 million in the bonding bill for a commuter and passenger rails corridor program. There's also $4 million for track rehabilitation on the Minnesota Valley Railroad line, which, we've been told, is a mighty fine line. (H.F. 855)

If you are ... a Minnesota resort owner, don't worry about losing vacationers and the summer help to early school starts. Legislators turned back yet another effort to allow schools to start before Labor Day.

If you ... like to drink and smoke, consult your doctor, but not your accountant. Fears that both alcohol and cigarettes would be taxed more under a House proposal were never realized. Oh, and that goes for high-income Minnesotans, too. (early version H.F. 2323)

If you ... are in need of dental care and in a region, neighborhood or population group that is under served, a dental therapist may soon be easier to find under legislation expanding the services therapists can provide under a dentist's supervision. (S.F. 2083)

If you ... are a sweatshirt maker in a Third World sweatshop, the market for your wares may have gotten a little smaller now that college bookstores in the state have to sell American-made clothing "to the extent possible." (S.F. 2083)

If you ... are at a party with Margo Channing and she advises you to buckle your seat belts, you'd better do it. Not only because it may be a bumpy night, but now even the House has passed a bill to make failing to wear a seat belt a primary traffic offense. That means a cop can stop and ticket you for that alone. In past years, the House was where this bill went to die. (HF108)

That leaves the final "if," which comes for now without the "you." As Pawlenty goes about balancing the budget, big ticket items -- from health care to local taxes -- still hang in the balance and their potential impact on you may not be known for weeks.