Leading the effort to end sexual violence

Teri Walker McLaughlin is the new executive director of one of the state's most respected sexual-assault prevention organizations. McLaughlin comes to the Minnesota Coalition Against Sexual Assault (MNCASA) this week after 20 years in nonprofits serving vulnerable populations, including the Children's Safety Centers Network in St. Paul and the Ramsey County Child Abuse Prevention Council. We asked McLaughlin, a 57-year-old mother of two adult children, how she found her way to this work, her goals for MNCASA, and why she smiles when she sees guys hugging.

Q: This is not easy work. What drew you to it?

A: It happened mostly by chance. Way back in about 1992, there was some neighborhood violence surrounding my children's school. That jettisoned me into community violence prevention work. From there, I landed with the Children's Safety Centers in St. Paul, which provides a safe haven for children and adults during parental visitation. In every situation, you're compelled to rise to the occasion.

Q: At what point in your life did you become aware of the reality of sexual assault?

A: I could go back to when I was 10 or 12 years old. That's when we first become aware of the needs in the community, and the threats. I had a lot of personal experiences, too. A high school classmate was a victim of a rape, and I had several friends who were sexually assaulted. When I was living in Hawaii in 1979, I witnessed a gang rape on the beach. When we open our eyes, it can be and it is everywhere. Landing in this work gave me a far greater awareness.

Q: The FBI identified Minneapolis as one of 13 cities with a high concentration of criminal activity around juvenile commercial sexual exploitation. What are some factors that make this true?

A: We have ports and an extensive population of vulnerable communities. Homelessness contributes greatly. If you're a runaway and you're hungry, you'll exchange sex for shelter or food. Our higher numbers also could be a sign that, in Minnesota, there's a growing awareness of what is happening and we're just better at reporting.

A: We still pay the most attention to the more sensationalized sexual assaults. Stranger rape is more often reported. But what is probably far more prevalent is that which goes unreported — acquaintance violence among partners, friends, family members and co-workers.

Q: Conversely, what correct messages are finally getting through?

A: I'm delighted that we are raising our children to be far more aware. I'm delighted with the changes in socializing our boys to be more considerate of the privilege they have by being male and to be far more level and understanding of gender abuses that occur.

Q: You've said that you hope to be "a bold voice for social change." What might that look like?

A: When people are able to share their voice without fear of repercussion; many voices, not just those who have the power. And anyone can participate in that change. Go to our site (mncasa.org) and read about the issues and the risks attached with normalizing some things that I hoped we'd gotten rid of.

A: MNCASA is doing tremendous work in bystander intervention, making people aware of how important it is to speak up and to protect those who don't have that same power. We need to change the social norms and the language we use, from "I shouldn't say anything. It's somebody else's job," to knowing that you can, and should, stand up and speak on behalf of others, or intervene. I think back to that gang rape in Hawaii. I was 19, and it was so beyond my imagination as to what was really happening. If I could go back to that day, I would have gone directly to somebody to say this is occurring. Today, for certain, that situation would be different.

Q: What role should men play in combating sexual violence? How can we encourage more men to join the effort?

A: We need to continue to discuss the issues openly and have men speak up. I grew up with four brothers and a police officer father. It was a pretty strong male household. But my brothers and my father would take heed of what others were saying. This younger generation offers greater opportunities for discussion. There aren't those deep lines drawn in the sand about what is male and what is female. My son and his peers don't make those gender distinctions. I have a strong, assertive, capable daughter. And my son is a hugger. It wasn't that long ago when men wouldn't hug.

Q: What personal attributes will help you most in this work?

A: I have a certain tenacity that allows me to keep working toward a goal, irrespective of the challenge. I am very collaborative and fully committed to many voices working together toward a common goal. This has to succeed. It cannot fail.