Q My girlfriend and I recently broke up. We had been together for four years and have two boys, 3 1/2 and 18 months. I know the youngest one is mine, but I'm not sure about the oldest one. I was at the birth and I did sign the birth certificate, but he looks nothing like me. I have visitation, but I'm not sure I want to see the oldest one if he isn't mine. And would I have to pay child support if a paternity test says he is someone else's child?
A Good ex-etiquette would be to continue to support your children, financially and emotionally, and to teach them to respect their mother even though you are no longer together.
If your bond with the oldest child can be so easily severed, we wonder what kind of father figure you will be for either child. There is far more to being a father than biology.
For the record, it's doubtful that a judge will tell you that you are not financially responsible for the oldest child even if you find out that he is not biologically yours. If a child is born during a marriage, and you sign the birth certificate, you are the father of record. As a result, if you break up with the mother, you will be entitled to parenting time and responsible for child support. A judge also might find it questionable that you have not formally questioned paternity for more than three years.
Paternity issues aside, the primary concern is how you would ever tell this little boy that the man he believes is his dad wants to see his brother, but not him? The stand-up thing to do would be to put biology aside and take care of both boys.
