I confess to a deep abiding fascination with this story, because the idea of a court trial that contains the concepts of Kid Rock, Waffle House, and a 3 AM fistfight is just too perfect. All of these elements were made for each other. Yesterday we learned that the judge wanted to know about Rock’s earlier fistfight with Tommy Lee, which Rock chalked up to “bad blood” over mutual amour Pamela Anderson. Pam Anderson? Bad blood? Yeah, you’re going to get that. Now we have the entire majestic glory of the newswires and photo distribution systems to give us a picture of Kid Rock describing how he picked up a chair:

 

 

 

It’s like you’re almost there! More details:

Musician Kid Rock testified Thursday that he exchanged some tough words with another customer before a 2007 fight at a Waffle House restaurant but didn't start fighting until provoked. The other man, however, told the court he doesn't know what set off the musician and his friends.

 

"I gave it to him verbally, I said, 'Shut your mouth, man,'" the singer testified in DeKalb County court, adding that while members of his entourage hit Harlen Akins, the musician never landed a punch.

Ah, who do you believe? I believe the plantiff, frankly. Why? Because he’s suing for $6,000, that’s why. Not $60,000. Not $600,000. Six thousand dollars. He’s got to be telling the truth! Well . . . then there’s this.

The musician testified that he believes Akins was trying to cash in on the fact that he's a big star with a lot of money. "I feel like I'm a big number in the lawsuit lottery," he said.

 

As the exchange got more heated, Kid Rock testified, Akins said, "I wish you'd do something to me. I'd get paid."

 

The physical fight began when Kid Rock's guitarist, Jason Krause, lunged at Akins and hit him when he reached for something on the table of his booth. Krause testified Wednesday that he thought Akins was reaching for his knife. Akins testified he was reaching for a cell phone to call police.

 

After a brief scuffle inside, Kid Rock's friends forced Akins out of the restaurant and held the door shut. Akins banged on the window until it shattered. He said he was trying to get someone inside to bring him his cell phones and keys, which were on his table.

 

"When the window smashes, now I'm freaked out. I'm scared. I'm like, this guy's nuts," Kid Rock testified.

 

Multiple members of Kid Rock's group testified that they heard Akins say he was going to call his friends to come shoot the place up. Akins denied that.

We may have a verdict today. Stay tuned.

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