If Christian Ponder looked any more like an elite NFL quarterback, he'd be married to Giselle or doing commercials for a brand of car no multimillionaire would ever drive.
If Ponder acted any more like an elite NFL quarterback, he'd be practicing touchdown gestures mimicking the donning of a fashion accessory, or hosting "Saturday Night Live."
As he prepares to start his second season with the Vikings, the franchise is desperate for him to span the gap between what he appears to be and what he needs to be.
A week from today, he'll start the season that could describe or determine his career arc. If Ponder is what he seems to be, even a losing season will prove worthwhile. If he's not, the rebuilding process in which the Vikings currently take such pride could wind up like the Metrodome, a once-interesting concept awaiting demolition.
If appearances mattered in football as much as they matter in Celebrity America, Ponder could set a reminder to polish the Lombardi Trophy in February.
He's big. He's strong, a point he seemed to want to emphasize on Thursday night, as he kept rolling up his sleeves on the sideline, stopping just short of flexing while pointing the way to the nearest beach.
He's fast. He throws a tight spiral with sufficient zip. He's smart. He's diligent. He's likeable. He is, according to those who know him best, a leader.
He's also dangerous for a franchise committed to him, because too often in his brief NFL career Ponder has displayed every trait you would want in a starting quarterback other than the one that might matter the most: pocket presence.