Jesse Ventura's new conspiracy show

Our former governor will have a new TV show about . . . Conspiracies. Says the press release:

Oh, good. Midnight surveillance! No one conspires during the day, you know. Stroke of twelve, the lights go out, the hoods come on, and dark plots are hatched. It'll take nothing more than a burly guy the size of an industrial fridge standing outside the window with his ear pressed to the glass to crack the mystery of the Illuminati.

Expect shows like these:

Who put the bomp in the bomp de bomp de bomp? MASONS, say many, although many insist that's a diversion from revealing the Scottish Rite chapter's role in putting the ram in the ramalama ding dong

Did we really land on the Moon? Jesse points to new evidence suggesting that we actually did

Who shot JFK? Watch as Jesse goes up against expert Vince Bugliosi, who demolishes his conspiracy theories with a relentless torrent of facts (This one will only be available on the DVD, which has a regional coding for Africa, but trust him, Jesse totally smokes Bugliosi)

What happened to Atlantis? Guest star: Donovan

What did Gilligan know, and why did the government keep them from getting off the island?

How, exactly, did the Mossad manage to kill Napoleon?

Was there a conspiracy to keep the assassination of President Garfield from looking like a conspiracy?

Chem trails: harmless vapor from ordinary aircraft, or a mind-control program designed to make people look irrelevant and stupid by forcing them to act paranoid about chem trails?

Who was responsible for killing his last talk show?