Jesse James is on Nightline tonight, and it's a special interview. He says he's sorry and stupid and self-destructive and he knows everyone hates him, and he's not a Nazi. That was just one of those jokes where you dress up like a Nazi, give the salute, then have relations with a pole-dancer who has a swastika on her tailbone. Around the garage they call that "Tuesday."
Then he stands up and yells at the reporter: "This is Nightline, Dude! Ted Koppel founding this show to keep the nation informed about the Iranian hostage crisis, and now it's sunk to interviewing useless sacks of greasy testosterone like me? What is wrong with you people?"
Actually, no, but we can dream.
