Thanks to social media, it's no longer necessary to wrangle interviews with reclusive stars. You can just publish their tweets. Today's induction into the Greybar Hotel is weighing hard on her:

Yes, it's an ad. She's running Twitter ads. There were rumors she was broke; that would seem to suggest they're true. She'll be less impoverished after jail; some speculate she'll pull in half a million for an interview. Half a million. She did tweet this, which indicates an wit that rivals Wilde in its ingenious subtle construction:

Rimshot! Thank you! She'll be here all month! Or maybe not; now the sentence might be reduced because of

A) overcrowding

B) the non-stop pro-Lohan protests that have virtually shut down activity outside the courthouse

C) overcrowding The answer is A and B, of course. That's why Lohan is probably going here:

AP, Star Tribune
AP photo of the slammer

This is the jail. I stayed in worse Motel 6s in the late 70s. She could upgrade to a better jail; there's one in Beverly Hills where you can get a better room for $75 to $125 a night. Seriously. But it's still jail. The minibar has Smirnoff instead of Stoli and there's, like, gross airplane peanuts instead of macadamia nuts, and there are no complimentary mints on your pillow at night. A lady comes by a rolls an M&M under the door. So yes, it's jail. But if Lindsay went there, she would have to serve more of her sentence, because it's not overcrowded.

I suspect she'll do three weeks, then stroll out for the half-million payday. She might even write memoirs while she's in there. Sure, it's hard to concentrate in the hellish din of prison, but the great thinker Boethius wrote "The Consolations of Philosophy" while in jail, and he had been sentenced to be executed by having his head nailed to a board. He managed to get a book done.