In the neighborhood

If you're new to the Twin Cities, perhaps in the form of a young, impressionable, innocent college freshman, then we have your starters' guide to your new environs - at least until you found your bearings. We're always eager to share our knowledge of these big, bad cities, and while you might know the basics (Bob Dylan lived here, it gets cold, there's a cherry on a spoon) a handy user's guide never hurt anyone. There's much more to do as a college newbie in a major metropolis than guzzle cheap vodka and take a trip (or three) to detox. I'm about to graduate from the University of Minnesota, so think of me as your wise older sister, a sage guide to where to eat, play and hang out in the Cities.

If you're a new kid at the U of M, chances are you'll be spending tons of time, intoxicated or not, in this barely-off-campus enclave with the ridiculous name. Good thing there's lots of stuff to do, including a stop (the Hideaway) for hookahing the hours away. (And plenty of pretty ... um ... glassware.) Though Mesa Pizza is legendary for its innovative pizzas (mac 'n' cheese is most popular) and its bar-close bum-rush, Dinkytown also boasts the equally delicious slice-shiller Duffy's. For more cheap eats, Loring Pasta Bar offers U of M students (with ID) 30 percent off dinners, and Uncle Franky's, hidden in the "Dinkydale Mall," is worth a stop for hot dog lovers. There are big names like Qdoba and local favorites such as Annie's, so any munchies are easily solved. Besides food, this campus gem boasts the friendliest shoe-fixer-upper in town, Fast Eddie's, a spa/salon with excellent student deals in the Refinery, a secondhand shop (Everyday People) where I've found Marc Jacobs dresses, and a bunch of college bars (the Library, Downtime, Blarney) you may or may not be able to enter after 9, depending on whether or not you can pose successfully as a legal drinker.

Metro Transit routes: 2, 3, 6

The West Bank is home to both the Carlson School of Management and the art/dance/theater kids, but the off-campus restaurants tend to be hipster-friendly. Don't be intimidated by the folks at Hard Times Cafe - just order and enjoy your thick black coffee and organic meal. (It's cash only, FYI.) Down the street at Seven Corners one can get lunch at Bullwinkle's, the Corner Bar or Sgt. Preston's Urban Pub. For music lovers, the West Bank, which stretches several blocks along Cedar Avenue, is also the home of the punk-friendly Triple Rock Social Club, which has many 18-plus shows, and the eclectic Cedar Cultural Center, which is always all-ages.

Metro Transit routes: 2, 16, 50.

To be honest, there's not a ton to do in the area sandwiched between the U's Superblock residence halls and new Gophers stadium. Once in awhile the charming old Oak Street Cinema plays a well-chosen film or two, and for chicks who like to look bronzed all year long, Darque Tan is the best tanning deal around. ($18 per month for unlimited tanning!) But when you've spent all day at TCF Stadium or wandering around campus, you're gonna get hungry. Lucky you. Here's what you've got to choose from: Campus Pizza (my personal favorite), the Leaning Tower of Pizza, Noodles and Co., Bun Mi, Raising Cane's Chicken Fingers, Jamba Juice, Espresso Expose, Hong Kong Noodles and student favorite Village Wok.

Downtown Minneapolis is only a hop, skip and jump away from the U of M campus, and easily accessible to most bus-bound students. Though 18-to-20-year-olds aren't always allowed at its plethora of bars and clubs, several, like Spin and Aqua, have Thursday 18-plus nights where you're more than welcome. Even if you're fresh off the farm and have never glimpsed a drag queen in all her sparkly splendor, the Gay '90s on Sunday is underager-friendly (and a Whitney Houston-heavy ball of a time). For shopping, get groceries at the flagship Target on Nicollet Mall and navigate those convenient skyways to check out Off 5th Saks outlet for inexpensive designer goods. In Macy's basement Marketplace, the sandwiches, salads and sushi are cheap and delicious (so is the local-fave Izzy's ice cream they offer). On Thursdays, the farmers market crowds up the streets and $5 nets you local produce or pretty flowers. Downtown also boasts the legendary First Avenue (home of hipster dance night Too Much Love on Saturdays) and a ton of glitzy theaters such as the Orpheum, where big names come to play when they hit the Twin Cities. Movies at Block E give a student discount with ID -- the entertainment complex looks cool from the outside, but sadly, there isn't much inside it these days.

Well, we've all missed the golden heyday of Uptown, which used to be the cool kid hangout and was even immortalized in song by, you guessed it, Prince. However, even if it's increasingly gentrified, Uptown still has a lot to offer. There are blocks upon blocks of destinations on Hennepin Avenue; besides big-name retailers like Urban Outfitters, the North Face, American Apparel and MAC, the main drag is home to local shops like Covered and Heartbreaker. Magers & Quinn and Booksmart are perfect bookshops to spend hours in during the winter, and Uncommon Grounds makes the world's best cup of chai tea. Spyhouse concocts some creative coffees for you caffeine freaks. Sebastian Joe's is the only ice cream shop you'll ever need (try the trademark raspberry chocolate chip) and, for a cushier grocery shopping experience, Kowalski's is open 24 hours. Walk a couple of blocks to Lake Calhoun while the weather lasts, or wander around the Minneapolis Sculpture Garden at the Walker Art Center. (The modern-art museum is free on Thursdays.) The Lyn-Lake section of Uptown is home to my favorite vintage stop, Tatters, as well as new venue/bar/restaurant Sauce and the award-winning Fuji-Ya sushi spot. Bryant-Lake Bowl is a triple-threat - restaurant, bowling alley and theater/cabaret - and it's always bustling with people. The early-bird breakfast specials are hard to pass up. $3.25 for two eggs, toast and BLB fries or dirty rice? Yes, please.

Metro Transit routes: 2, 4, 6, 113 (express bus from the U).

Beginning in the East Hennepin area a few blocks from the U campus, northeast Minneapolis boasts a plethora of adorable boutiques for budding fashionistas. Parc and Belle Reve, in addition to designer consignment store gh2, make up a row of must-stop shops. A branch of local grocer Lund's is here (their sushi is pretty good for grocery store fare, and so is their deli). The Red Stag Supper Club combines a kitschy Midwestern "supperclub" atmosphere with gourmet food and occasional Saturday night dance parties. And it's technically just on the southeast side of Hennepin, but Brasa is a restaurant dedicated to rotisserie chicken (and red velvet cupcakes!)

Metro Transit routes for Northeast: 2, 4, 6, 11, 17, 25.

We can't forget about the other twin city, home to stalwart schools such as St. Thomas and Macalester. Tommies kids tend to dine at Wild Onion, O'Gara's Garage, Tiffany's and the Nook, while hipster-leaning Mac kids enjoy the Greek food at Shish and coffee from Coffee News. You learned in elementary school that St. Paul is the state capital, so go check it out and see those ridiculous gold horses. For smart kids, the Science Museum of Minnesota is a worthwhile time-passer, and for a wholesome weekend that doesn't involve chugging beer (unless you do it beforehand; we don't judge), Midway Bowl is popular among the Macalester set.

So the megamall isn't technically a neighborhood, and it does reside in a Minneapolis suburb (Bloomington), but it's a world of its own. Here's my best advice: Avoid the weekend hordes of strollers, kids on Heelies, snotty teenagers and slow-walking elderly people. Weekdays are much more manageable. Plus, a trip to the mall means a trip on the light rail, always an adventure. (It takes about 30 minutes from the Metrodome, so bring a book or strike up a conversation with the airport-goer next to you.) Though smaller malls like Southdale and Rosedale can fill your yen for typical vendors like Abercrombie (please don't), the MOA boasts more than 400 stores, a gimmicky Nickelodeon theme park, traveling exhibits like "Bodies" and an oxygen bar, as well as restaurants with local roots (Crave and Famous Dave's) and crowd-pleasing fast food (McDonald's.)

Metro Transit routes: 3, 16, 50 to Metrodome, Hiawatha light rail to the mall.