Lacrosse matches are hard to follow, but it's better than soccer — no singing

Fifty-five years in the Twin Cities sports media has allowed a curious gent to see most every competitive activity, always with the noble goal of trying to get a column out of it.

Among the stranger events written about by a lad raised on football, basketball and baseball in Murray County have been the following:

Cricket. Here's a game that could use some speed-up rules. And the heavily ethnic groups that play local matches regularly on weekends … well, the tilts I watched, they took a break for picnics.

Come on, let's get moving here, people.

Bandy. This is the game played on a huge ice sheet, 11 players per team, using curved sticks and pursuing a small ball, rather than a puck, to score a goal in the distant net.

This would've been an easy sport never to observe, if the Twin Cities weren't home to Chris Middlebrook, among the leading bandy advocates and promoters in the Western Hemisphere. He's even written a book — "The Bandy Chronicles: My Pursuit of a Forgotten Sport."

Log rolling. The Twins were having a lousy 1983 season, Bud Grant was continuing the tradition of having his Vikings report to Mankato as late as possible, and there was a dearth of topics.

Boring as Hades, but a fine scam by me.

Croquet. Big lawn event of the summer at Madden's on Gull Lake. Loved this cutthroat version of croquet. Middle-aged men of considerable girth in white shorts, sending an opponent's ball on a journey, and then — with a satisfied grin — taking a sip of their nearby gin-and-tonic.

Even though I was dried out by then, maybe it was memories of the beautiful "pssst" coming off of a well-made G-n-T that hooked me.

Rugby. Way back in the 1980s, I spent a beautiful Sunday afternoon on the Fort Snelling grounds, getting an up-close look at this rugged game. The combatants pounded on one another unmercifully for 90 minutes, then sat around and drank beer together.

The timeless quote from a participant in both the combat and the conviviality:

Come last Wednesday, I started the morning by grabbing the Star Tribune outside the door, popping open a Diet Coke and retreating to the den to look for topics of interest.

The high school scores are always scoured. A number of those were for lacrosse, boys and girls, and that's when it hit me:

We've had scholastic teams around here for close to two decades, and I've never watched a lacrosse contest in person. And whenever I've watched a few minutes on TV, I've found the ball being flung around much tougher to follow than a puck in hockey.

I was touted on a nearby matchup that night: Maple Grove at Armstrong, 7 p.m., two teams unbeaten in their conference.

As a property tax payer for 35 years in School District 281, I went in full support of our Armstrong lads. Also, with no knowledge of exactly what would be taking place.

1. The boys and girls games are completely different. Boys have 10 players, wear extensive pads and slap at each other with sticks. Girls have 12 players, only wear goggles and aren't supposed to hit each other with sticks.

2. There is a much larger advantage in having possession of the ball in lacrosse than the puck in hockey. That's because once you have the ball, it's easier to keep it in a hoop than keeping a puck on a stick.

3. The faceoffs are battle royals between two guys; longer and way more physical than in hockey. Get low and dig at the ball, like two baby bulls.

4. Even more than other sports, the penalties called seem to be based on a referee's whim. Maple Grove did have two extra-man goals to break open the match, so penalties do hurt.

5. You don't have to wait nearly as long for a goal in lacrosse as in hockey or soccer. As for actually seeing the ball go in the net, good luck if you're a novice.