If you could give a kidney, would you?

In a few days, my almost-14-year-old son will have a kidney transplant. He was diagnosed with chronic kidney disease on Aug. 28, 2010, his 12th birthday.

He left a party with a headache that got worse. He wound up in the emergency room, then the intensive care unit. He left the hospital five days later with a diagnosis of renal failure. By January of this year, he was on dialysis three days a week.

Until last year, he was known for being agile and athletic -- awesome to watch on a soccer field or a hockey rink. When he was about 5, we took him downtown to the big, oval ice rink during the Winter Carnival. He skated breathtakingly fast, round and round, over and over. People started cheering and waving dollar bills over the boards for him to snatch as he whizzed by. Can you imagine? In St. Paul?

He was always the shortest in his class, but we told him he was the size he was meant to be. Turns out we were wrong. Kidneys help make growth hormone.

I learned many things the past two years. Let's start with the facts that 120,000 Americans are waiting for a kidney and that 18 die every day because they don't get one. So, what do you think:

• Should young people with kidney failure get a donor quicker than people over, say, age 60?

• Should there be financial incentives -- or at least financial relief -- for organ donors?

• Dialysis is a hugely profitable industry that has sponsored many academic reports that inform policy for kidney patients. No conflicts there, right?

A little over a year ago, my husband and I were eliminated as donors for our son. I e-mailed everyone I knew, asking them to spread the word about his kidneys and including a number to call if they -- or anyone they knew -- was willing to be a donor.

There's a strict firewall between the donor and recipient sides of the transplant process, so I wasn't supposed to know who called the number. But I did know, because they told me. Two of them matched well enough to warrant further testing.

These are people I don't know very well and who don't know my son. Because of the expense of the tests, the likeliest donor was brought forward and the other put on "standby." So, if the final cross-match is good, next week my son will have our donor's kidney and will be on his way back to a normal life.

And our donor will be flat on her back, unable to work and in considerable pain. She will need help taking care of her young children. Luckily, she has an understanding employer and a supportive husband, and her family doesn't worry about money. Still. I cannot fathom the sacrifice.

Our other prospective donor was the same way. He said it's how he was raised. If you have something someone else needs and you don't need it, you give it to them.

Our son is incredibly lucky to have these people. Kidneys from live donors work better than kidneys from deceased donors. Most people are not as lucky. They spend years waiting. The system is not set up to help either donors or recipients. I'm not sure who it is set up to help. That's a question for another day.

Today, finally, I just want to say thank you. To all the donors who give someone a shot at a healthy new life. I especially want to thank our donor.

Our son has been very sick. It's more than any kid should have to bear. You know who you are, donor. I promise I will find a way to honor you by doing good in the world. As you have done for our family.

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