Our relationships with family, friends and loved ones are central to our mental health. Being aware of these relationships – and the things in life that can affect them – is one way for people to proactively manage their mental and emotional well-being. In this series, Minnesota Mental Health Clinics shares insights, tips and next steps to help you nurture health relationships.
Ask couples who’ve been happily married for 30 years their secret and you’ll rarely hear ‘weekly Caribbean getaways.’ More often, they’ll mention small, repeatable rituals: a nightly cup of tea, a six‑second kiss, or texting “Thinking of you” at lunch.
“Rituals give couples a way to stay emotionally tuned in—even when life is chaotic,” says Minnesota Mental Health Clinics couples therapist Dr. Patrick Doyle, PhD, LMFT. “They act like emotional anchors, reminding you that you’re a team, even in the midst of stress or distance.”
Psychologists call these ‘rituals of connection.’ They’re micro‑moments dense with meaning that protect relationships from the slow leak of neglect. Read on for science‑backed routines that keep romance and respect alive long after the honeymoon fades.
Quick Facts About Building Bonds
- Positivity pays off: Partners who practice daily appreciation show a 27% rise in oxytocin levels (Journal of Positive Psychology, 2023).
- The power of kissing: A six‑second kiss increases relationship satisfaction scores by 20% after one month (Gottman Institute).
Why Rituals Work
Healthy relationships don’t just happen. They require intention and nurturing. While spontaneous grand gestures have their place, smaller, consistent acts can sustain a connection over time. Rituals create a rhythm of togetherness that can take on a life of its own, creating a positive feedback loop that strengthens the relationship itself.
A series of studies from Harvard Business School found that shared rituals—whether a regular date night or a simple morning coffee routine—are remarkably common among couples and meaningfully enhance their bond. When both partners recognize and participate in these rituals, they report noticeably higher relationship satisfaction, suggesting that these small, intentional acts play a key role in strengthening connection and promoting long-term relationship health.
(Rituals and Nuptials: The Emotional and Relational Consequences of Relationship Rituals, Harvard Business School, 2019)