Grandma's beaming: It's a baby boy, and Larry Jr. is the dad

Little Larry's the daddy!

"My beautiful grandson is not a secret," Mary Lou Nazario told me via telephone Tuesday. Reminded that it was April Fools' Day, Nazario laughed and said she was dead serious that a Coconino County judge has issued an order confirming that Arizona Cardinals wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald Jr. is father of Angela Nazario's baby, Devin Nazario Fitzgerald, who was born Jan. 1, weighing 7 pounds, 6 ounces.

On Wednesday, a court official confirmed to me the authenticity of a paternity document that came into my possession.

Angela filed a paternity suit against Junior last year. Before this, Junior had a reputation for being a classy, careful, responsible pro athlete.

Larry Fitzgerald Sr., or Grandpa as I've taken to calling him, did not return my call Wednesday seeking comment from Junior. Big Fitz has been angry because of the flippant column items regarding the paternity suit against the image-conscious Junior. A child out of wedlock is not something that sits well with Grandpa, who as a sports columnist for the Spokesman-Recorder turns a blind eye to the tabloid lifestyles led by many pro athletes.

However, now that the DNA results are in, I assumed Junior would man up and speak! At least I hope the Holy Angels alum ponies up a level of child support commensurate with that four-year, $40 million contract extension he recently signed.

"We [including Angela's dad, John Nazario] are very proud grandparents," read Mary Lou's e-mail, which was followed up with a telephone interview.

"Oh my God, he's so beautiful; he's big. He weighs like 14 pounds," she said. "He looks just like Larry. He's got Larry's eyes, Larry's nose. He even has a little cleft on his chin. Larry's big head. He was born by Caesarean; that's why he was born early. When he was being born they said, Oh, his head is big! They had to cut Angie a little more, just to get his head out."

Devin has a dimple on his right cheek just like his grandma. "The only thing he has of Angie's is small ears, that's it." Big heads need big ears, so here's hoping for greater symmetry as Devin grows.

"Have you ever seen the website [larry-fitzgerald.com] where Larry Senior has a picture of himself with a little reporter hat on?" Mary Lou asked. "That's exactly what Devin looks like." Of course, Junior looks more like his late mom, Carol, than Big Fitz.

"I don't want to make Larry [Jr.] look bad. I love Larry, believe it or not," said Mary Lou, who clearly loves grandbaby Devin even more.

Just a day at the mall The Guinness World Records guy wanted a gander at Minnesota's adult conjoined twins.

"Now, there's something you don't see everyday," I remarked to Walker, returning to our previous conversation as the twins walked by Barnes & Noble. Seconds later, they came into view for Walker, who instantly became the personification of flappable: "Did I just see that? Did I just see what I saw?"

When Girton figured out what Walker was hyperventilating about, the Guinness guy wanted to see for himself. Walker agreed to take Girton to find them, and I tagged along.

Not long into the pursuit, my conscience told me: "You can't do this. This seems wrong." It's not as though I was seeking an interview or was going to be gauche enough to ask if I could videotape them. Since it was obvious they get gawked at enough, with many MOA shoppers barely able to contain themselves, I dropped out of the chase.

"Don't pretend you didn't partake in the pursuit," said Walker said. "We threw Duff, the Food Network stuff and Sandra Lee to the wind. You were terrible." He exaggerated but more fairly observed: "You just shrugged your shoulders and said, Yeah, well, as if somebody walked by wearing pink shoes on the wrong feet. You were quite funny, your cavalier attitude, about the whole thing."

It's called being accepting.

I reminded Walker that we couldn't all be born cute, little blondes. Besides, I've seen Fancy Ray.