As Michael Jackson might have said in "Billy Jean," L'enfant n'est pas le mien. Meet Michel Polnareff, whose photo on the right - with the caption "I'm going to be a papa!" - makes him look like a Gallic version of David Lee Roth. The story's headline says "French pop star announces baby not his on Facebook." So whose baby is it on Facebook?

Actually, you don't have to share. That's the strange thing about the internet. It seems like you should, or must share, but you really don't.

A video from the Miami Vice era of French pop music. Note how he's walking around the street as he's singing about the street, but he's still carrying a microphone. Why? Because there's a twist surprise at :29 or so! (Note: it'll embed, but not play, because it has content from UMG. Fine. Be that way. Click on it, and you'll head to YouTube. It's worth it just to see how 80s styles made it across the Atlantic, and how imitating a car horn in your song always makes you look silly.)