Find someone to fill absent dad's shoesYour son's father is no longer in the picture. Where can you find good male role models for him?
It's probably wise to decide what role you want modeled for your son before you recruit someone.
"Boys whose fathers aren't around need somebody who embodies the life of an adult male [and] need to see someone embody a meaningful, responsible masculinity," said psychologist Michael Thompson, co-author of "Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys."
Possible candidates?
"The Big Brothers [www.bbbs.org] organization has been providing father figures for fatherless boys forever," Thompson said. "Boy Scouts [www.scouting.org] is another good one. Coaches, if a boy has athletic abilities -- especially coaches who are not so obsessed with wins and losses."
Don't neglect the men in your family.
"There's nothing like an uncle or cousin for a boy," Thompson said. "And probably the greatest of all is a grandfather, because obviously they have the blood tie and the authority, but often they're very relaxed about who a boy is.
"In some ways it's easier to feel good about yourself with your grandfather, particularly if you had an evaluative dad who's kind of judging you, making sure you're getting good grades. Grandfathers are often totally accepting, and that can be a very powerful relationship.
