Fergie - the Duchess one, not the Lady-Lumps version - explains why she tried to sell access to her husband: she was banjaxed.
Other words for "drunk" in British slang include "mullered, "off one's face,"and "fergied." The internet is full of pages that give you more synonyms - why not look through today's paper and find as many words as you can that sound like they could be synonyms for distasteful intoxication? As in "diplomats blasted the latest initiative." Write them up, put the letter in an envelope, and mail it to "Thank you for not making me read anything more about Fergie's scandal, even if there is a small Oprah angle," General Delivery, Minneapolis.
