Federal courts beat: The jury's still out on lawyer jokes

Why don't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.

America is awash with lawyers and lawyer jokes, and not surprisingly, many lawyers don't think they're funny.

"Justice is really hard to get for people, and it's exhausting," says Minneapolis attorney Priscilla Lord. "I think the jokes demean what we really do."

That doesn't, however, stop people from telling lawyer jokes.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.

What's the definition of mixed emotions?

Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new Ferrari.

"Everyone tends to not like lawyers, until they need one," says Edina Attorney Phil Fishman, who admits he laughs at lawyer jokes. But he says people don't understand how important lawyers are to society "and how important lawyers are in managing conflict."

What do you get when you cross a librarian with a lawyer?

All the information you need, but you can't understand a word of it.

Where do vampires learn to suck blood?

Law school.

Minneapolis lawyer Fred Bruno says he and other criminal defense attorneys love to swap lawyer jokes. He says that many times, "our clients have done something very bad. You're selling a broken product. You have to have a sense of the absurd and a sense of humor about what we do. You have to sit down and convince a judge that your dog is really a cat."

What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.