Q Outside of the home, I'm a fairly calm, patient, level-headed person. At home, I'm impatient, angry and yell at my kids. I'm actively involved in their activities, but rarely find anything that they do interesting. And efforts that I make to expose them to things I enjoy always seem to backfire. I love my kids, but I don't necessarily like them. What can I do to enjoy my family more?
A Wow. That couldn't have been an easy e-mail to write. But you captured a feeling just about every parent has had (or will have). There are several factors that might be contributing to your feeling.
First, there's their behavior. Dealing with rude, surly, uncooperative, disrespectful children on a regular basis can definitely make you question whether you should have had children in the first place.
Second, as children get older, they naturally push for more independence. If you aren't able to gradually let go, you might feel useless, unloved and angry that you're being pushed away. This is especially true if you're dealing with preteens and teens.
Third, the expectations you have for your children might be out of whack with what they're actually physically or mentally able to do.
What to do?
Think hard. There's a big difference between not liking your children and not liking their behavior. Sometimes it's hard to separate the two, but it's important to try.
Read up on temperament. Some kids are naturally easier to get along with than others. In addition, certain parent-child personality combinations are more explosive than others.
