Just about the last item Carl Eller should be seen holding is a beer.

The Hall of Famer has a tendency to drive really, really fast [97 mph on I-394 in 2006] when he's under the influence. The legendary Vikings defensive end allegedly tossed about police officers after an incident that may have involved drunken driving -- he refused a sobriety test -- during a 2008 confrontation set for trial in November.

And yet, Tuesday night, Eller sashayed into a private party at Cantina, the Mall of America's great new Mexican restaurant, holding a Coronita Extra.

Bottles of the beer were being passed out at the front door.

I'll bet Eller's not supposed to have a beer, I said to a Cantina staffer who requested anonymity. "You've got that right," said the staffer, adding while vamoosing, "I'm not going to tell him that."

Allow me.

"I can do whatever I want, C.J.," said Eller, when asked if he's supposed to drink, or is it that he shouldn't drink and drive? "Whichever," he said. "If I want to, I can. I don't have any law against me drinking or driving, right now."

The woman who walked in with Eller intoned: "As long as he doesn't do both at once."

But should Eller drink at all, I wanted to know. "If I want," Eller said calmly.

Just to check on where his head was, I underscored that there would be no drinking and driving, right? "There is no drinking and driving," Eller said.

When the conversation turned to what was in the large glass I was holding, I told him I never drink and drive so it was a mojito sans rum. "This is nonalcoholic, too," said Eller, holding his beer bottle. I instantly pounced on the veracity of his claim.

"What are you doing videotaping?" said Eller, finally noticing!

Check out startribune.com/video to see Eller's next funny cover-up. "Get out of here," Eller said as I left laughing.

By the way, when asked if those Coronitas were non-alcoholic, Cantina owner Emilio Vega said "no" and offered to get me an O'Doul's if I wanted something non-alcoholic.

Favre a good fit Every year around the time NFLers go back into training, former Viking Esera Tuaolo once told me that he's overcome with a certain urge.

"This is the time I just feel like hitting somebody," said Tuaolo, using the slang for a vicious tackle. At this point, Tuaolo's been out of the game eight years.

Could Brett Favre, former Packers QB, be feeling the same way?

"Probably," Carl Eller told me. "He's probably going through some withdrawal. I don't know if I would [lace 'em up again] if I were him. He's had a great career with Green Bay. And I think when you do that, you can't kind of recapture what you already have" accomplished.

If there's a football god, I hope Favre decides to play again and gets picked up by the Vikings. He'll probably be terrific because he's got something to prove to the world and the Packers, especially after that weepy retirement speech. Manly tears are allowed, and are even endearing, but what Favre did was embarrassing.

Monster Mom "The Monster," is how Cantina owner Emilio Vega introduces his wife, Blanca.

The mother of their 5-year-old twins, Maria and Rocio, just smiles.

"This beautiful lady here is my wife," said Emilio, "but when she gets angry she [changes] her personality and she becomes a monster. That's why we are calling her The Monster. That's a true history. I am not a liar." He said this smiling with all his teeth, too. Then he gave her a very sweet kiss on the head.

When Blanca's mom, Blanca Cordero, joined our conversation, she introduced herself by saying, "I am the mother of Monster."

Is Norman out? Word out of r. Norman's Steakhouse is that the guy whose name is on the facade has been suspiciously absent.

I left a message Wednesday for CEO David Koch to call me and confirm this gossip that Randy Norman has been fired. "Just last week. It's been sad for us," an insider told me Wednesday. I also left a message for Norman.

I'm just not believing that Norman has been separated from his baby, which he dreamed of opening years ago.

Not much face time Ten seconds.

That was about the length of Fancy Ray's appearance on "America's Got Talent" on Tuesday night. Not even enough time to appreciate his nice shirt and suit coat.

Show judge Sharon Osbourne, who really should lose the blaze burgundy hair, gave Fancy Ray's stage arrival a scream with her eyes. When the self-proclaimed "Best Looking Man in Comedy" started his act by talking about being a gift to the world, David Hasselhoff declined to accept the present in a less than artful turn of phrase.

And you thought I was hard on Ray, didn't ya?

Haven't heard a peep from Fancy Ray about whether this brief national TV appearance bruised his ego.

C.J. is at 612.332.TIPS or cj@startribune.com. E-mailers, please state a subject -- "Hello" doesn't count. Attachments are not opened, so don't even try. More of her attitude can be seen on Fox 9 Thursday mornings.