Down, but maybe not out

"It's all about ratings. It's not about finding a date or anything like that," Shauna Raisch said, explaining her unforgettable TV energy with Bravo's repugnant "Millionaire Matchmaker."

Raisch, owner of Wayzata's Twiggs Salon, seemed every bit the "diva bitch" and "crazy millionheiress" she was described as by matchmaker Patti Stanger. Raisch was so ridiculous that I was starting to take Stanger's side -- and I CAN'T STAND that woman's TV personae.

But first let's remember: It's reality TV, which means you're not getting the whole story, thanks to creative editing.

The show ended with the pair having a verbal knockdown fight, with Stanger's potty mouth doing all the shocking. Expect the show to be in heavy rotation on Bravo this weekend; it's being featured prominently at Bravotv.com and attracting lots of harsh Internet comments about Raisch.

The women fought because Raisch pulled a modern-day Cinderella with a fella who looked like a pretty good prospect on camera. Raisch agreed to go out with the guy, but when his limo arrived to pick her up, she shook his hand and ran back into the hotel, hoofin' it so fast she left behind one of her Christian Louboutins.

"I should have never agreed to go out with him," Raisch told me. "Some people have said to me, 'Hey, he was a good-looking guy.' It wasn't because I thought he was ugly. I wasn't attracted to him. He felt creepy to me. People looking at him probably don't think he is."

Stanger told viewers that Raisch wasn't interested in him because she likes them young and hot -- not her age and older. When she wanted to see a photo of the hot chef Stanger then proffered, Raisch went ballistic. Somehow, Raisch dramatically (and mysteriously) stuck her mike and battery pack on a hallway camera. Stanger, whose coarse, abusive comments are usually below the belt, figuratively and literally, decreed that Raisch was out. (But if their are ratings gold, I'm thinking not every goodbye means gone in reality.)

Remember that, viewers. I didn't.

Staff held hostage?

An e-mailer claimed that "the scary salon owner ... MADE her staff stay" at NorthCoast restaurant in Wayzata for "the repeat" airing of "Millionaire Matchmaker" during a viewing party there Tuesday night.

Luxuriating in her role as the shallow TV dating villain, Raisch said: "Oh no, we didn't make anybody stay for the repeat of the show. Everybody was hanging out and they re-watched it. You don't have to make my staff STAY at a party for anything. They are there."

Raisch was so tickled by this question that as she hung up her cell phone, I heard her laugh while telling the person with her that someone had tipped me that her workers were forced to stay.

"ESPN reporting Brett Favre and Adrian Peterson will be retiring, but staying in the Minneapolis area to open a bakery. They will specialize in turnovers," reads a little tidbit sent via e-mail and being texted to phones.

Don't know if an ESPN anchor actually said this or a humorist decided that setting up the joke this way would give it an air of authenticity. At any rate, people should have known this was a joke the minute Peterson's retirement was mentioned. Nevertheless the joke got popular after the frustrating end to the Vikings' season in New Orleans.

Well-known for handshakes that are compared to a vice grip, Peterson should perhaps pretend the football is a hand.

Speaking of hands, I hardly think Favre would need to use both of his massive mitts to strangle Prince. But Jack Myhervold, who has been playing at his computer again, sent me an illustration showing Favre man-handling Symbolina about the neck for that sorry little "Vikings Fight Song" Prince created -- and which some of us believe jinxed the season.