Don't let family dinners become a grind

Time will tell whether the Dolmio Pepper Hacker is legal, but I'm pretty sure of two things:

Somebody with teenagers created it, and you will LOL when you watch the promotional video.

The Dolmio Pepper Hacker looks like a pepper grinder. It works like a pepper grinder.

But twist it once and every obnoxious electronic device your kids brought to the dinner table instantly powers off.

I'll take 10, please.

The grinder still is in development, and concerns are growing about the legality of a device that shuts down cellphones and iPads. But mums and dads from Australia to Arizona are having a happy moment.

"This is awesome," wrote Audrey Walsh, the Florida-based author of a parenting blog called the Ragged Mommy.

We know how important family dinner time is. We know this because a new study confirming it comes out every 10 minutes.

We know that family dinners create healthier, happier, smarter kids who ace their SATs, don't do drugs and pick their clothes up off the floor.

And we know that our families never are going to be those families. We're never going to gather regularly 'round the Epicurious-inspired risotto with kale pesto to talk Big Ideas.

Our children have lives, and homework, and sports and "How I Met Your Mother" reruns.

And text messages to answer.

So, I'll admit to feeling relieved to find a recent study that's not getting a lot of play. Researchers at the Boston University School of Social Work looked at more than 21,000 children, ages 5 to 15, and found no connection between happy home-cooked meals and the children's academic success or behavior.

"We find no relationship between family breakfasts or family dinners and any child outcomes — reading, math and science scores, or behavior problems," said surprised study co-author Daniel Miller.

The research was published online in the journal Child Development.

The findings didn't change regardless of the number of meals eaten together, even if a Nobel Prize-worthy family managed to share nine meals together a week.

Miller surmised that the contradictory results might be due to his study's focus on younger children.

Still, he added, "We would never suggest that families should not eat meals together."

I would never suggest that, either.

I just don't want you to feel guilty if you're working the second shift, or your teen is, or you have three kids doing four sports, or you're beat after a long day at the office and all you can manage is pizza delivery.

Because the sweet spot of well-adjusted children is most likely somewhere in between Miller's findings and the volumes of studies supporting family dinners.

Nobody's hot dish is good enough to keep kids on track every minute of their lives. But being together is still plenty important, whenever and however you are able to carve out the time.

You cannot say that too many times.

Even the creators of the website thefamilydinnerproject.org (stuffed with good information) acknowledge that dinner isn't the magical meal, nor is there a magical number of times each week to bring the family together for the best results.

Just figure out how to shut out the world as often as you can, and listen to your kids' concerns and interests. Really listen.

To begin the experiment in your house, a Family Dinner Project spokeswoman suggests that families try a no-texting experiment for a week or two, at any meal or moment you choose.

Maybe that experiment will lead to a permanent electronics-free half-hour during which you talk to one another.

I, meanwhile, am waiting patiently to pursue Option Three.

"Hey, kids," I'm going to ask them, "would you like a little pepper on that meatloaf?"