Q: What should you do when you’re out in public and encounter someone who ghosted you?

 

A: For starters, you should always remain calm. You do not need to go out of your way to say hello. If you happen to exchange glances, you can slightly smile — you’ll likely have to fake it — and nod. But don’t start a conversation.

If the person engages with you, you can absolutely call out their behavior, but do so in a nonaggressive way: Say, “I didn’t know what happened to you or if I did something to upset you, because I never heard from you all of a sudden. I hope you’re OK.”

The ultimate goal is to not let on that their ghosting got to you. The more upset or confrontational you are about it, the more it shows them that they got under your skin. People who ghost don’t deserve that kind of validation.

AMY LAURENT, dating expert and matchmaker

 

A: Chances are the reason that person ghosted you in the first place is because they did not have the heart (or nerve) to tell you that they no longer are interested in you. That may sting a little, but reframe it as them doing you a favor in showing you what they are really about. People who would feel comfortable leaving you hanging are not people you should invest time and energy in.

It’s best to treat them like every other passerby. Acknowledge their presence and keep moving. If they want to make conversation, oblige only if you want to. If you don’t, you can gracefully dismiss them by returning to the activity you were doing in the first place.

They haven’t earned anything more, and it sure is satisfying to see the look on their face when they see that you are just fine without them.

JULIE WADLEY, owner of Eli Simone Matchmaking and Coaching