Doing right by Dad on Father's Day

Father's Day just doesn't get the respect it deserves. Mothers are easy to celebrate with flowers and sweets and pretty handmade cards. But honoring guys can be tough work. The men in my life don't cotton to a big gushy fuss. Take my dad, no softie, too much praise made him squirm. He never expected presents and didn't collect stuff, but he did appreciate a well-made, practical tool. (When we cleaned out his closets, I found a few boxes of unopened Father's Day ties.) Dad would spend hours just "fiddling and tinkering," repairing a broken gate or making the back-yard floodlight work. Though he had no interest in the kitchen, he loved playing with fire and knives, as well as being outside; the guy was great at the grill.

Come the third Sunday in June, near the solstice, Dad would spend the day puttering with cars or mowing the lawn, but we knew that he was just biding time until he could light up the big back-yard behemoth and get things going for dinner. Standing just a bit away from the heat, he'd wave those long tongs like a conductor, orchestrating steak, potatoes, asparagus and garlic bread into a memorable meal.

Through the years my sibs and I found a few "perfect" Father's Day presents -- an electric grill starter, a special platter, an extra-wide spatula, an apron that read, "He who has the best toys wins." Dad was particular about his ingredients, he researched sauce recipes and chatted with others about wood chips, smoking, timing, etc. He liked the accouterments we bestowed on him. They were handy and provided evidence that we considered this serious work.

So, on Father's Day, even as teenagers, we knew enough to act impressed with his culinary prowess. We'd eat as much as we could, and though we might be itching to bike off to see friends, we'd stay at the table and sit still. Sure we'd heard all of his stories more than once and his jokes were twice or thrice told, but we'd hang out through the evening as lightning bugs flashed, crickets hummed and the soft light faded gently into memory. This was my dad's most treasured Father's Day gift.

A quick guide to Father's Day grilling:

• Whether you're grilling with gas, wood, charcoal briquettes or hardwood charcoal, always check the temperature of your fire before you begin. Gas is easiest to control; otherwise, allow the flames to build up and subside and the coals to turn gray, before judging the temperature:

• The fire is "hot" if you can hold your hand 5 inches above the grill rack for 1 to 2 seconds.

• The fire is "low" if you can hold your hand above it for 5 minutes or longer.

• Salt meat before grilling, as it amplifies flavor and intensifies the browning process, especially important to grilling.

• Have everything prepped before you begin as grilling goes quickly and you won't have time to race back to the kitchen.

• Cover the grill only when you want indirect heat (so that it acts more like an outdoor oven), but don't cover it when the food is directly over the coals as the fat drippings spatter and vaporize and give the meat an off flavor. You don't need to cover steak or small pieces of beef, chicken, fish and pork, just keep the food moving around the grill.

• Rest grilled meat on a cutting board for 2 to 3 minutes before carving so that the meat relaxes and the juices subside; otherwise they will run out, leaving the meat dry and tough.

• Grilling and BBQ are often used interchangeably, but grilling means cooking the food over direct heat. Barbecue implies long, slow indirect cooking with low heat and smoke.