Ask Amy: Obesity issues are far from simple

Dear Amy: I have always been thin and fit. I eat well and exercise. But I have friends and family who struggle with their weight, and I want to be sensitive to this issue.

I have read volumes about the genetic origins of obesity. I can't help but noticing, however, that the overweight people I know eat a lot more than I do, exercise less and generally embrace far less-healthy lifestyles.

Am I to believe they're genetically prone to these behaviors? Please help me to understand the science,

Amy says: To quote author Roxanne Gay: "When you're overweight, people project assumed narratives onto your body and are not at all interested in the truth."

If you truly wanted to understand the science, you would have digested (excuse the pun) the research you've done. Genetics do seem to play a role both in obesity itself, and in behaviors related to obesity, such as overeating. Based on my own reading, the causes of obesity are varied and extremely complex, which is why successful treatment of obesity is much more complicated than you imply.

People overeat for a variety of sometimes complex physical and emotional reasons, including the fact that for some people, their brains are not receiving the message that they are full.

And sometimes we humans overeat because we want to, and we don't work out because we don't want to. Remember: It is possible to be both overweight and fit.

Dear Amy: As a former sexual assault investigator, I vehemently disagree with your advice to the ex-wife of a man who had admitted to a sexual relationship decades earlier, when he was 30 and the girl was 15.

You told her not to tell others. Child sexual assault should never be kept a secret. If a perpetrator will abuse once, they will abuse twice. This needs to be reported at once.

Amy says: Thank you for your response. Other readers agreed with you.

In responding to this challenging question, I was mindful of the fact that the letter writer reported that the family of the victim was aware of the sexual relationship at the time it happened, and that the victim and her family members all had chosen not to report it.

I was concerned that an angry ex-wife might choose to "out" a victim, when in my opinion this should not be her choice. She had been sitting on this knowledge for many years, and her motivation now, as I read it, was to punish her ex through disclosing this to their teenage children.

Dear readers: Have you ever had your question published in the Ask Amy column? If so, I'd love to hear from you. Did you accept or reject my advice? Was the issue you wrote about ever resolved?

As part of our ongoing conversation about human behavior and its consequences, I'd love to learn how things turned out for you. Write to me at the email listed below. Put UPDATE in the subject line, and tell me your story.