Who could possibly hold up a bill guaranteed to get a bunch of rapists off the street for the cost of zero dollars? If your guess was the 112th Congress, you won - but America's women didn't.
There wasn't even a partisan split on this one; when you've got New York Democrat Carolyn Maloney and the conservative Concerned Women for America not only marching in the same direction but hopping around sending up alarm flares together, it's fair to say you've got yourself a consensus.
Reps. Debbie Wasserman Schultz, D-Fla., and Allen West, R-Fla., both supported this law; need I go on?
Apparently, yes. The SAFER Act of 2012 was supposed to force the federal government to spend $117 million in already authorized funds to process some of the 400,000 rape kits sitting around collecting dust in evidence rooms around the country.
The money is being spent now, but on other things, and this bill would require officials to use at least 75 percent of it for its intended purpose. ("Slush fund" is such an unhappy phrase, but Congress found two years ago that some of the money had been spent on conferences and processing DNA for other crimes.)
This would have been a perfect way for the GOP-controlled Congress to end a year in which not one but two Republican Senate candidates made offensive comments about rape.
While that DNA evidence remains untouched, predators can have themselves a jolly old holiday doing what they do; as Maloney, who wrote the original 2004 bill that was supposed to end the kit-testing backlog, says, "Rapists are very sick people; they keep going until they're caught."
The Senate version, sponsored by John Cornyn, R-Tex., and Michael Bennet, D-Colo., still needs the blessing of both Patrick Leahy, D-Vt., who heads the Senate Judiciary Committee, and Chuck Grassley, R-Iowa, the ranking Republican on the committee.