Commenter Clarence Swamptown will delight you with tales of fantasy football and outstate bars. As usual, the opinions here on ex-Twins do not necessarily reflect those of RandBall or the Star Tribune. Here we go. Clarence?

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*Completely Impeachable Terrible Song of the Week: School is about to start, and that means that I will begin to drive my kids around again. I love my kids more than anything, but they only listen to about 3 different songs in the car, over and over again. Here is just a glimpse into my own personal hell. *Outstate Bar of the Week: Madison Country Club, Madison, MN (straight west of the Twin Cities on the Minnesota/South Dakota border). In the summer of 1996 I moved to Madison for work. I probably should have looked into the local housing market before accepting the job, but I didn't because I don't do smart things like that. Instead I drove into town and bought the local paper, hoping to find an apartment. There was nothing in the paper. I stopped at the local café, gas station, realtor, grocery store, and Lutheran church. Still nothing. Long story longer, I ended up speaking with the manager of the local nursing home and somehow convinced her into letting me rent their last open room. What is the bar famous for? My nursing home room shared a paper-thin wall with the Community Room. The Madison County Club bar is famous for giving me a place to hang out after work, rather than staying in my room and listening to 190 decibels of Polka Mondays, Fiesta Tuesdays, Bingo Wednesdays, and Polka Thursdays. Can I watch the game there? Yes. Can I watch the NASCAR race there? Maybe. If the Twins game isn't on, the television is usually turned to the Weather or Golf Channel. Do they have a website? Kind of. Are they on Twitter? No. Anything else I should know? The Madison Country Club is a 9-hole course situated on a square 40-acre tract southwest of town. Nearly every hole is perfectly straight, with tree-lined fairways and hard, fast greens. The par-4 seventh hole has a 90˚ dog-leg right that offers a high risk/reward tee-shot if you are willing to risk the lives of those on the sixth fairway. In 1996, an annual "student" Country Club membership was $99. Most members are local farmers, and therefore have flasks and their own homemade golf carts, and are more than willing to pick you up if you're walking alone. *Country & Western Song of the Week: That's the Way that the World Goes 'Round by John Prine. *Context Free Diagram of the Week: A true story and cautionary tale:

I will end this week by praising Tom Brady. Recently Mr. Brady admitted to not watching the current season of Hard Knocks on HBO, featuring the New York Jets. I imagine that most NFL players watch the show, at least occasionally, because it's an interesting show and it must be that much more interesting from a player's perspective. Brady claims that he does not watch the show because, as he states, "I hate the Jets, so I refuse to watch that show". Tom Brady probably has better things to do at night than watch HBO. And even if he is lying, I appreciate any professional athlete who declares hatred towards the opposition (I know hate is a strong word. Only the goofiest of diehards cannot distinguish between sports "hatred" and real "hatred". I hope we can all acknowledge that there is a difference and move on.) If I am investing my time and money into a sports team, I want to be deluded into believing that the players have at least as much animosity toward the opposition as I do. I think Tom Brady exemplifies the perfect amount of hatred for the opposition: He publicly claims to hate the Jets and he isn't overly "buddy-buddy" with the other team during the game, but he isn't a cheap {redacted} during the game either. A.J. Pierzynski has a lot of hatred for the other team and I respect him for that. I think his teammates respect that too, to a point. Sometimes A.J. can get a little cheap and his teammates probably get embarrassed when he crosses the line. Orlando Hudson exists on the other end of the spectrum, constantly chatting and laughing with the opposition. Hudson has a reputation as a great teammate, and at the beginning of the season his antics are probably comical, but by the end of the season perhaps his act wears thin. I have no evidence to back this up, it is simply a gut feeling. I suspect that while a lot of fans want a player who acts like A.J. Pierzynski, most professional athletes want a teammate who acts like Tom Brady, walking that fine line between A.J. and Orlando. Please include your thoughts on kid's songs, outstate bars, C&W, fantasy football, and the ideal amount of athletic hatred in the comments below.