Commenter Clarence Swamptown is back to delight you with absurd use of Photoshop and his unusual spin on the local sports scene. As usual, his opinions do not necessarily reflect those of the Star Tribune or RandBall. Clarence? -------
According to yesterday's LEN3 blog post, the Minnesota Twins may be done signing free agents this offseason. This Twins have holes, not the least of which includes the bullpen, and a number of affordable relievers remain on the market. But the team will probably avoid these options because of a self-imposed $100-million payroll that has already been maximized. Trades and tweaks are always possible, but it looks like this is essentially the 40-man roster they will take to spring training.
As a season ticket holder, I am undoubtedly frustrated. Cutting payroll in the 3rd-year of a publicly financed stadium is a discouraging decision. But I am also an unapologetic Ron Gardenhire rube, and I will be interested to see how he handles the modified roster. It will take sorcery, witchcraft, and substantially improved starting pitching to turn this 99-loss team around. But for all his faults, Gardy often does best when expectations are tempered. We'll just have to wait and see how it goes. Here is a look at some of his raw ingredients:
Welcome to "Chopped" with your host, Terry Ryan. Chef Gardenhire, please open your basket.
In today's mystery basket we have: A geriatric journeyman middle infielder.
The worst of the team's 4 free agents.
Phyllo dough.
A backup catcher that cannot catch.
A bargain-bin soft-tossing starting pitcher with elbow issues.
Chef Gardenhire, you have 162 games to use these ingredients to create a championship ballclub. If you fail, you will be chopped. Good luck.
