Commenter Clarence Swamptown is back with his increasingly popular feature "Clearance Clarence," which is basically an unfiltered plunge into his soul. It's a terrifying place, but there are sweet rewards. This week, he focuses on Sunday's game. As usual, the opinions expressed on Clearance Clarence don't necessarily represent those of RandBall or the Star Tribune. Clarence?
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Today is D-Day plus 2. I know that I need to put the NFC Championship game behind me and move on, but the hostage negotiator promised that I could rant about the Vikings for one more day, so here we go:
* The game was watched by 57.9 million viewers, which makes it the most-watched television program since the Seinfeld series finale in 1998. Incredibly the Seinfeld series finale was more disappointing.
* Before the game started, I wondered what kind of method the Vikings would use to ultimately kick me in the {redacted}. Would they use a roundhouse ninja-kick? Would they invent a new kick, something really cool that I don't even know about? Eventually the Vikings mixed a new school method (12-men in the huddle penalty) with a time-tested old school method (overtime field goal). Interesting choice.
* For approximately 45 seconds in the fourth quarter I actually believed the Vikings had a chance to play in the Super Bowl. I thought about where I would watch the game. Should we host a party? Should I go to a bar instead? In my head I created a Power Rankings of who I would want to watch the game with:
(1) Nobody: Ideally I would watch the game alone in a cabin on a remote mountain where no one could hear me scream. The cabin would have a working bathtub and a toaster.
(2) My Dad: My dad has been a Vikings fan as long as I can remember. I was born on November 30, 1975 and on that day the Minnesota Vikings lost to the Washington Redskins by a score of 31-30. My dad nearly missed my birth because he was watching the end of the game on a television in the lobby. He is a big fan. He also drinks and smokes too much, so he will never live long enough to see the Vikings win a Super Bowl. This makes me sad.
