Care packages: Love in a box

As she raised her two children, Lindsay Strand became a Swim Team Mom, a Choir Mom and a Theater Mom. But it wasn't until her youngest left home that she became a Care Package Mom.

Strand had expected to miss her son, Ryan, when he exited the family nest for college in California. What surprised her was how much she also missed the group of mothers she had befriended as their lives intersected through their children.

"I was mourning all the parenting years and wanting to stay connected to these wonderful people I had come to love," Strand said. "We'd been doing things together for 12 years, in some cases. Suddenly it all stops. I wanted to find a way to keep it going."

So when Strand invited her eight-person "mom group" for an evening of wine and appetizers, she asked each woman to select an item a college student would welcome -- microwave popcorn, a pack of highlighters, a tube of toothpaste -- and then to purchase eight of them.

She grabbed eight medium flat-rate boxes at the post office. Roughly the size of a large shoebox (11 by 8 1/2 by 5 1/2 inches), it ships anywhere in the United States for $10.95.

Around Strand's Minnetonka dining room table, the women packed the boxes while taking turns updating the group about their young adults -- their majors, internships and romances. They also passed around note cards, and scribbled greetings to each student.

A welcome delivery

"Every person they're around on campus is new in their life, which can be disorienting. It feels good when they get a package from home with the special cookies they like or a comic book they read. It reminds them their parents know what makes them smile."

While fresh-baked treats are always coveted, Savage says parents who lack the time or skill to turn out goodies should not be deterred. College students like packaged snacks and add-water-and-stir staples such as oatmeal and soup. In addition, they appreciate non-food items -- toiletries, school supplies and dorm decor.

Now a senior, Strand's son, Ryan, has opened several of the multiple-mom produced packages, and calls receiving one that was "a real morale booster."

"Getting a box is a reminder to call home," said Ryan Strand, now a vocal performance major. "If you get a package, it's not going to go unnoticed."

Big response for little gifts

I was unprepared for how much it would delight her. She called me, bubbling with excitement, which transitioned into a satisfying conversation. I realized that often when we spoke, our first subject was money or logistics, which set the tone for the interaction that followed. Her gratitude put both of us in a happier, closer mood as we began to talk.

This positive connection prompted me to send boxes on a more regular basis. The packages demonstrated what I could not always say without sounding too mushy.

She spent last year studying in Iceland. The international rate for a flat-rate box tops $50, so I shipped fewer packages to Reykjavik. But sending them eased the pain of separation for both of us, as this note from her reminds me:

Hi Mom!!

Thank yooooooouuuuu SO MUCH for the package!! What a wonderful ray of sunshine on this dark, grey, dreary, rainy day. Your timing was great, as today I realized my food supply was down to brown rice with the topping choice of mustard or strawberry jam. Hellooooo dorm life. Yippeee!!! I was actually feeling really homesick earlier today, and it really helped. What a nice assortment of goodies! You know just how to put a big smile on your girl's face.

"They're called care packages for good reason," said Savage of the U. "They help keep the lines of communication open when the relationship between parent and child is changing."