When my mom was still alive, my sister and I often visited her in assisted living and later in memory care. Many times, we would be the only outside visitor.
In fact, there were many residents whose family didn't visit them. Sitting hour-after-hour in the lobby, these aging seniors would watch the front entrance intently. They looked as though they were constantly waiting. Waiting for someone who rarely or never came to visit.
Their waiting and obvious loneliness made me incredibly sad.
Where were their family members? It seemed many adult children simply settled their parent or parents into the care home and then never looked back. They convinced themselves (or tried to convince themselves) that all the needs of their loved one would now be satisfied.
While it's true the physical needs can most often be fulfilled in a care home, emotional needs may not. Residents in care homes still require advocates in their lives. They desire and need a continual emotional connection to family, friends and others.
What I call the "affection-connection" is important for all humans — no matter the age.
What can be done about the elderly who are disconnected from their families? Can we force adult children to spend more face-to-face time with their aging parents? Can affection for your parents be legislated?
Last year, China tried to do just that by passing a law requiring children to take more financial and spiritual responsibility for their elderly parents or risk being fined or sued. While the law is probably more symbolic than an actual legal threat, it was obviously designed to send a message to the Chinese citizens: Step up and take responsibility for your parents.
