Julia Tice, of Lighthouse Marketing & Social Media, sent me an e-mail that read: "I am contacting you on behalf of Arthur Murray Dance Studios regarding the 5th Annual 'Dancing With the Twin Cities Celebrities' Charity Ball, which is Feb. 22, 2014. I am respectfully requesting that you consider the opportunity to be one of our Twin Cities celebrity dance participants."

I'd have fallen off my chair laughing had I not been nursing the most inexplicable lats injury from doing something that wasn't even strenuous. If an armed police chief couldn't get me on the dance floor at the fourth annual Let's Dance fundraiser gala for CornerHouse, there's no way Tice's e-mail was going to glide me out there.

I went on Twitter to disclose this, suggesting instead Chief Harteau.

And the chief replied via Twitter, "I'm up for it, but no waltz this time."

I, like her, believe her dance selection is the only reason Harteau didn't win the CornerHouse competition in early November.

Her great pop dance skills, as seen at tinyurl.com/l8tcznl , will translate nicely to a faster dance, like a rumba or cha-cha or salsa.

Of course, I'm not sure if the fetching orange gown, in which Harteau "floated" on the dance floor, can be used for faster numbers. (Thanks for the term "floats," Kate Bratt of kgb9dance.)

Since the chief was exercising up a storm getting into better shape while preparing for her last dancing performance, another dance project can only expedite the conditioning.

KSTP-TV's Rusty Gatenby is among the celebrities who will perform in the 2014 edition of "Dancing With the Twin Cities Celebrities." That should be really amusing.

Treated like flyover media

The local media were disrespected at Selena Gomez's recent appearance at a local shopping center.

When a NYC PR firm practically harangues you through e-mails and phone calls to come to an event, you expect to be close enough to shout out questions such as, "Do you miss Barney?"

But no, the locals were off to the side. Selena barely looked in our direction. She saved her smiles and camera glances for the video crew, which got lots of screams and squeals of delight from the fans.

After Gomez's one-minute appearance, I picked up my equipment and left, missing her return to do a Q&A with the crowd.

I asked my photo colleague, Richard Tsong-Taatarii, what he thought about the event. "I felt used. I was a media prop in a commercial?" he wondered. "Strangest media event I've ever attended." He told me he was even chastised for stepping off his mark to get a better picture than the vantage point we had been accorded.

Some people from both coasts treat us like Fly Over Rubes. They think life is so boring in Minnesota that media will be glad just to get a glimpse of someone like Selena. Jennifer Lopez, maybe, but Selena? Not the case.

NYC's Culture Shop flack Ilana Rubin is on BIG TIME probation with me. She'll no doubt figure that out.

One of Rubin's bosses at Culture Shop, Julie Safer, called with a nice apology to say that she hopes she can make it up to me one day. Looking forward to that!

Winstead's show

Lizz Winstead's hilarious annual year-in-review shows are getting a new home.

"Lizz 2013: The Windbags Beneath My Wings" will be at Cedar Cultural Center on Dec. 28 and 31.

Winstead, the satirist and co-creator of "The Daily Show," told me she moved her show from the Parkway Theatre because she needed a bigger venue.

She was already loading up when we talked Sunday: "Ted Cruz seems to be the phoenix rising from the moronic ashes this year. Certainly the Obamacare website launch deserves a lot of ribbing, as do the people who think the website is health care."

As for the nonpolitical subjects, Michael Douglas is going to be lambasted by Winstead, and Paula Deen will merely be basted.

C.J. can be reached at cj@startribune.com and seen on Fox 9's "Buzz." E-mailers, please state a subject; "Hello" does not count. Attachments are not opened.