C.J.: Former personal assistant takes Kris Humphries to court

Kris Humphries has a new legal headache.

The NBAer who just finished making sure Kim Kardashian didn't get a quickie divorce is being sued in Hennepin County by his former personal assistant, who also named Kris' mom, Debra Humphries, as a co-defendant.

Tracy Paradise says her contract as Kris Humphries' $75,000-a-year personal assistant was terminated about six months early. She wants the balance of the money she claims to be owed plus some other items.

According to the lawsuit: "Out of sheer spite, the Humphries have unjustifiably failed … to return Paradise's personal property," including a mountain bike, an Ironman Coeur d'Alene finisher's mug, a Whistler mug and a Magic Bullet blender.

While the blender makes Paradise look small, there are a couple of nuggets from e-mails attached to the lawsuit that make Debra and Kris Humphries not look like the most wonderful employers.

The lawsuit alleges that in February 2012, Paradise was contracted to be a personal assistant.

"In September 2012, the Humphries required Paradise to relocate from Minnesota to New York," where Humphries lives during the NBA season as a Nets player. In addition to the $75,000 salary, Paradise was to be paid $3,500 a month for housing while she handled "personal training, nutrition duties, body work, household management and [many, many!] other duties including work for the Kris Humphries Foundation," reads the lawsuit.

"Our agreement was that I would be on board for [at] least one year — which means Feb. 2013. It was not for the [NBA] season, so technically I am still under contract until February," wrote Paradise in a Sept. 24, 2012, e-mail to the Humphrieses.

More entertaining than the confusing lawsuit are the e-mails between Paradise and Debra Humphries that are attached to the complaint.

On the matter of paying for cable in Paradise's New York apartment: "We definitely won't pay for you to watch t.v. because it isn't a work expense and you can access the internet at Kris' and you have internet on your phone," wrote Debra Humphries in a purported Sept. 17, 2012, e-mail.

There was also back and forth about how many days for which Paradise would be compensated to drive to New York.

"The drive takes more than one day's travel. I am driving out to work with Kris there, relocating to [fulfill] my job, and I am only getting paid for one day of travel. This does not seem right to me. I am not driving to NYC for personal pleasure," wrote Paradise.

To show Paradise what a good deal she was getting, Debra Humphries talked about how things were for her daughter, model Kaela Humphries: "Kaela was an independent contractor and had to pay for her hotel and gas and expenses when she traveled, and then she deducted it on her expenses," read an e-mail from Debra. She went on to note that "Kaela lived with 2 roomates she didn't know."

After seeing the two pages of duties for a Kris Humphries personal assistant, I concluded two things: He really needed a stay-at-home wife, and the position should have paid much more than $75,000 a year, despite the housing allowance.

Parties in the lawsuit could not be reached for comment Wednesday.

There were apparently no indications during Carolyn Moos' lengthy engagement to Jason Collins that the NBAer and former Timberwolf would someday become the first active player in a major team sport to announce that he's gay.

I wonder if a book can be far behind from Moos, who's very articulate and a good writer, from what I hear. She also played basketball at Blake.

C.J. can be reached at cj@startribune.com and seen on Fox 9's "Buzz."