C.J.: A.P.'s attorney Rusty Hardin recalls being spanked

There was one Adrian Peterson question I was itching to ask Rusty Hardin during this phone interview in October before last week's "no contest" plea deal in Houston, Texas.

I'll just have to wait to see if the ESPNer or whomever — Oprah? — Peterson favors with an interview thinks to ask: Are you telling me that neither Rusty Hardin nor any member of his team told you to lay off the pot smoking while on bail?

But I held my tongue because Hardin was pretty clear that we would not be talking specifically about Peterson's child abuse case for spanking his 4-year-old son. A top trial attorney who is literally colorful, Hardin spoke with ease — even while shooing me away from certain subjects.

Among the subjects Hardin was up to talking about is the distinctive greeting still playfully shouted his way since his cross-examination of Anna Nicole Smith.

In 1994 when the former stripper, model and reality TV star was 26, she married oil tycoon J. Howard Marshall, 89. He died 14 months later and Smith went after Marshall's fortune over the objections of his son, Pierce Marshall.

"When we broke for lunch the second day of my cross-examination, I told my brother, 'In another hour she's going to self-destruct.' Sure enough, she did," Hardin told Stan Sinberg in an interview at stansinberg.com.

News reports recount a testy exchange between a tearful Smith and Hardin, climaxing with his question:

"Screw you, Rusty," was her infamous reply, which has become a salutation Hardin still occasionally hears on the street.

Smith died in 2007 but her name is back in the news because Larry Birkhead, the father of her child, is cast on "Millionaire Matchmaker."

Hardin and I got along famously from the minute I told him I attended high school in Montgomery, Ala.

"Did you really?" Hardin said brightly. "I taught American History out at Montgomery Academy. I taught 7th, 9th and 12th grades and the 12th grade was the first graduating class."

I told him that although I ended up in Minnesota because I went to graduate school in Michigan, I still say I'm a Southerner. "My wife is from Montgomery," said Hardin, "so I think I can recognize an Alabama accent."

A: Yes.

Q: Do celebrities get breaks in the justice system or are law enforcement types diligent about making sure the system doesn't take it easy on the high-profile?

A: It's the latter. I think they get a break a lot of times from all kinds of people, who may keep them out of the system sometimes. Police officer stops a celebrity for something he might charge an average citizen. He might let them go with a warning and go ticket somebody else. But once they are in the system or it becomes publicized that they're in the system, I think they are treated much more harshly [out of] fear. Nobody in a public position wants anyone to think they are cutting breaks for someone because they are a celebrity.

Q: What's one thing you have learned about Adrian Peterson that the public should know since this latest court matter began?

A: My experience reaffirms the opinion everybody had of him before this broke. That he's a really good guy, that he loves those kids and he tries to be a good father.

A: Adrian fell prey to a long-[time] dispute the DA's office has had with this particular judge. We believe the judge to be very fair, was a good judge and want him to stay there.

Q: Is being a media whore a good or bad thing?

A: [Extended laughter] You know, I had not been called a media whore, I don't think. Actually [laughter], it was in [a court document] — he mentioned it about the prosecutor and said Mr. Hardin is, too [more laughter]. I thought the judge in the recusal hearing asked a very interesting question: What is one? and What's wrong with it? I think that's in the eye of the beholder. Most of the contact I've had with media over the years has been in response to questions they asked me, rather than me going to them. But I have to smile about it. Look, if I took offense to every criticism I would be a very thin-skinned person. For three and half years in the Roger Clemens case I had lawyers all over the country and ESPN calling me the worst lawyer in America. That, seems to me, much worse than being called a media whore. Geraldo wanted them to take my license. I clearly have been called worse things than media whore.

Q: Were you spanked as a kid?

A: I was.

A: You know, my wife and I talk about that. We're trying to remember. Obviously, it couldn't have been a very memorable occasion because we're not sure. Actually, I've forgotten to ask our sons.

Q: Yeah, they'd remember. My mother claims not to remember either, but I remember.

A: Must not have been too [often] because I don't remember and they haven't mentioned it to me.

Q: How many days elapse before you hear someone shout, "Screw you, Rusty!"?

A: Actually it still happens and you know what? That was 13 years ago. I think she said that sometime in January 2001. It's settled down now. It's probably more monthly now.

A: I have said that. She spread her gluttony into a lot of different activities. I don't really regret saying it. I tell people I can understand it because when I was a kid and had candy bars, I didn't have one, I had five. I remember when I went to Heath Bars, that was my favorite candy; instead of having one Heath Bar, I'd have five, and so I understand gluttony. She just took it to a new level.

Q: You have great sartorial style. I love the fact that there's so much color in your wardrobe. You're not afraid of pink or orange. Do you have a particular tailor?

A: [Laughter] I do have a store in Houston, M Penner, I buy most of my clothes from, but I don't have a particular tailor. Yellow is my favorite color. It's all over my office. I heard, when we were building our offices out about 11 years ago, [questions about] whether I was subjecting the staff to too much yellow. Everybody seems to have adapted OK.

Q: I can't imagine you doing anything but being a lawyer but were there other careers you might've enjoyed?

A: I can't imagine any lifelong career other than this. I found the niche I enjoyed the most. I did love teaching and I only quit to enlist in the war. Our oldest son is a teacher, my wife was a teacher for preschool. I consider teaching the noblest profession. I would have enjoyed doing it some more but I think as a full-time career I think I found what I enjoy most. When I was in the district attorney's office, 10-12 years, I was in charge of training. I still give talks to lawyer groups and law students about different parts of trial practice. That's a form of teaching and I enjoy it. My hat goes off. One of the saddest things to me in our public policy is how they're compensated. I think it's the most important profession there is.

A: [Laughter] If I could change American or local public policy, [I'd] get people to pay what teachers are worth.