After a certain age, death becomes a nagging companion. You lose parents and friends, colleagues and acquaintances, and the slow drip of sadness becomes an unyielding stream.
I lost my parents almost 20 years ago, one after the other, and those losses made me want to ignore death for the rest of my life, and especially when on the job, which is dominated by the chronicling of the young and vibrant.
This week, I could not avoid reality. Brooks Robinson, the Hall of Fame third baseman for the Baltimore Orioles, died at age 86. For me, this is the end of innocence.
Immortals are not supposed to die.
Sports let us down frequently, and whoever said that you should not want to meet your heroes was probably a sports fan turned sports journalist.
I was lucky. I identified Brooks Robinson as the right kind of idol when I was young and impressionable, and he never let me down. He was the only athlete I would ever worship.
Robinson is the reason I fell in love with baseball. He is one reason I chose to write about sports, because he made sports seem transcendent and yet accessible.
I was an Air Force brat growing up, and when my father left the service, his new company moved him as frequently as did the military. Sports, especially baseball, became my carry-on bag, my security blanket, my entry, as the perpetual new kid, to the exclusive cliques that dominate school life.