Ask Amy: Birth control an uncomfortable topic

Dear Amy: My husband recently learned that his son — my stepson — and the son's girlfriend of three years are only using condoms for birth control. This upset my husband. He'd assumed that his son's girlfriend used some form of birth control, as well.

Neither of them wants to have children, and we live in a state where trigger laws went into effect after the Dobbs decision. My husband is worried that this young couple are going to end up with an unwanted pregnancy.

My husband talked with his son about it, and his son (understandably) told him it made him uncomfortable and asked him to drop the subject. I agreed with this. Apparently, my husband brought it up again two more times. I wasn't there.

Yesterday, the girlfriend called and told me these conversations had upset her. I told her my husband has a good heart and wants what's best, but I agreed with her that he overstepped, and said I would speak with him.

Was I disloyal to my husband? I understand why he is upset, but this is a decision to be made solely by these young adults.

Amy says: If your son's girlfriend is upset having birth control discussed, imagine how upset she might be if she experienced an unwanted pregnancy.

This is from Planned Parenthood's website (plannedparenthood.org): "If you use condoms perfectly every single time you have sex, they're 98% effective at preventing pregnancy. But people aren't perfect, so in real life condoms are about 87% effective — that means about 13 out of 100 people who use condoms as their only birth control method will get pregnant each year."

Being honest about your own point of view is not disloyal, but an alternative might have been for you to urge this young woman to speak with your husband directly, because her issue is with him.

As it is, you should talk with him and report the conversation you had with the girlfriend, because that is what you offered to do. Remind your husband that as well-intentioned that he is, he risks alienating this couple by pushing his advocacy.

Dear Amy: I work in a retirement community. I was recently injured at work and am on extremely light duty.

My bosses and coworkers from all departments have jumped in to help me — not only with my daily tasks, but they have created a new position just for me while I recover. They also have reassured me that my job is safe.

When I am back up to full strength, how should I thank these incredible people?

You should write a letter to your supervisor and ask that person to share it wherever appropriate. You also might host a little gratitude reception. You could sponsor a taco meal or bring in home-baked goods. Keep it simple, affordable and sincere.

Dear Amy: I disagree with your answer advising a man that it was OK to pursue a relationship with another woman as long as he does not abandon his wife, who has advanced dementia. There's a word for what you suggest: adultery.

Amy says: This is a tough ethical dilemma, but I see your point.