Bernice Cowl Gordon: Living for others

Bernice Cowl Gordon is 91, but she has the giggle of a 10-year-old. She displays it when she makes fun of herself and when she rhymes. And she does a lot of both.

"I must admit my housekeeping skills are not that great." Giggle.

"We'll tell our stories. We'll show the glory of each story." Giggle.

But Cowl Gordon rarely giggles more than when she's volunteering. Volunteering is her passion and has been for more than 20 years.

The St. Louis Park resident visits senior care centers and assisted-living facilities. She sings "Hatikvah" ("The Hope"), Israel's national anthem, plays "The Entertainer," and speaks in Yiddish. Mostly, though, she tells stories and asks those she's visiting to share their stories with her.

"She shares her losses with them and asks them, sometimes cajoles them, to reminisce with her," said Judy Marcus, coordinator for the Twin Cities Jewish Healing Program.

The program is run by the Jewish Family and Children's Service of Minneapolis, one of many organizations that benefit from Cowl Gordon's visits.

Recently, Cowl Gordon was recognized for her work. In November, the McKnight Foundation awarded her one of 10 Virginia McKnight Binger Awards in Human Service. The annual awards honor those who have, in the foundation's words, "demonstrated an exceptional personal commitment to helping others in their communities." St. Louis Park, where Cowl Gordon owns an apartment, fattened the honor by declaring Dec. 21 "Bernice Cowl Gordon Day."

"It's a very big thing in my life and something I never, never, never -- 29,000 times over -- expected," she said. "I just wish that my father and mother had lived to know that I received this."

Cowl Gordon grew up in north Minneapolis with her father, "who dedicated himself to me completely" after her mother died when she was 4 years old. She was the valedictorian of North High School, a story she tells often.

But more often, she tells how she met her husband, "the dear" Moses Gordon, on a blind date. It was 1939, and the two went out with his close friends on Memorial Day. "They decided to go to the Magic Bar ... where you sat around a small, round table and you drank beer," she said. "You could dance there, too, on about a square inch of flooring. Dancing wasn't one of my greatest talents" -- she giggled -- "but I managed to make it through the evening.

"I knew right away that this fine gentleman was going to be my husband. How did I know that? He spoke to me like a college professor. His diction was just beautiful -- and I was a teacher, so I knew good diction."

Cowl Gordon visited him there every day for four years. She recalled his death in the speech she gave at the McKnight Foundation ceremony: "I asked myself a very important question: 'Bernice, what are you going to do with the rest of your life?' I suddenly remember the words of wisdom spoken to me by my revered grandmother, Ethel Cowl. She said to me in Yiddish, 'Ah mentch lebt nit far zich alien' -- a person does not live for himself alone. A person must perform good deeds and help people who need help."

She began volunteering not two weeks later.

Now, twice a week -- except when flu season's in full swing -- Cowl Gordon totes a grocery bag of sheet music and books to Sholom Home West, a senior care facility in St. Louis Park.

There, she announces her arrival over the loudspeaker, singing sweetly the tune "I'll Be Loving You ... Always," which Frank Sinatra made famous in the 1940s.

Ruth Singer, 84, who has lived at Sholom Home West for five years, remembers hearing Cowl Gordon speak for the first time and thinking she was "a very good, very interesting, very smart lady." Since then, Singer has attended every visit she could. "She tells us about her father, how hard a time he had trying to get an education in Europe. She tells us about her relatives in Duluth, all kinds of things," she said.

"I look at them with a gleam in my eye and say, 'One, two, three, wait and see,' " she said. And giggled.