Outgoing and highly social, my mother loved to play endless card games, take shopping trips, visit relatives and tell family stories to anyone who would listen. She also had a saying for every occasion. "Well, I'll be darned!" was one of her favorites, especially when she was surprised, excited or just plain happy.
Mom's personality began to change about the time she turned 85. Although these changes were subtle at first, slowly they became more noticeable.
One day, alone in her kitchen, I pulled open the pantry doors and out fell a huge stack of plastic containers, some with dried, smelly food stuck to the bottoms. Upon further investigation, I found hundreds of containers and even more mismatched covers. Thinking I was helping, I tossed them all in the recycling bin, emptied the bin and finally tidied up the pantry. To my surprise, when Mom learned what I had done, she became distraught, yelling and accusing me of being a horrible daughter.
Winning had also become an obsession. If the two of us played a card game, I had to make sure Mom won, or she would sulk like a child. Bingo, always one her favorite pastimes, soon became contentious as well with Mom frequently complaining the game was rigged and her friends cheated.
The hoarding and occasional flashes of anger were certainly out of character. Equally disturbing was Mom's growing struggle to convey her thoughts. She would begin telling me something, but then couldn't finish what she wanted to convey, often giving up in frustration with an exaggerated shrug of the shoulders.
The eventual diagnosis was Alzheimer's, the disease that would eventually rob Mom of almost everything.
As the years wore on, Mom's world grew smaller. She began to withdraw from socializing and eventually stopped trying to have meaningful interactions. After visiting her, I'd often shed some tears and wonder, 'What could I do to bring more joy and contentment into her life?'
It was time to try something new.
