Dear Eric: I have two friends who can’t hear very well. They frequently talk over each other and interrupt people because they can’t tell if someone else is speaking.
What’s really annoying is they keep telling me to speak up, then complain when I do so. I have to repeat myself over and over again, increasing my volume each time until they say, “Don’t yell at me!” I keep telling them that if they keep asking me to speak up until they can hear me, they shouldn’t complain when I finally reach a volume they can hear. Any thoughts how I can deal with this?
Eric says: Navigating hearing loss can be tough. Sometimes it’s an issue of pride, sometimes people don’t realize how much they’re missing and have gotten used to getting by. It can be difficult to convince friends who haven’t found the right medical solution to keep trying.
In a non-charged moment, talk to them about what you’re experiencing and encourage them to visit an audiologist. Remind them that hearing loss is associated with an increased risk of developing dementia and that, according to the National Institute of Health, using hearing aids can help reduce the rate of cognitive decline in older adults by up to 50%. Additionally, hearing aids can help reduce social isolation by helping those experiencing hearing loss to better engage with the world around them.
Perhaps by focusing on their personal well-being and continued health, you’ll help them see that you’re not complaining simply for the sake of complaining, but rather because you want the best for them and for your friendship.
Grandma confusion
Dear Eric: My ex-husband and I have been divorced for more than 20 years. We see each other at family functions and are very polite to each other, as I am to his girlfriend, who attends them all. He has been in this relationship for many years but they don’t live together.
When our sons had their first babies, my ex wanted the family to refer to his girlfriend as Nonna. Our sons immediately shut down that idea, stating that their children have a grandmother and that they would refer to his girlfriend by her first name out of respect for their mother and especially not to confuse the children.
Recently, while visiting at one of my son’s, my daughter-in-law and I were having a conversation. She was relaying something that my grandson said about my ex-husband’s girlfriend and referred to her as Nonna. I asked, “Is he referring to his grandfather’s girlfriend as Nonna now?” She replied, “Yes!”
