Ask Amy: Wedding snub irks relative

Dear Amy: I live on the East Coast. Most of my family members live on the West Coast.

Recently I received an e-mail from my cousin's daughter (we live in the same city), letting me know that my 95-year-old aunt (her grandmother), who resides on the West Coast, has COVID.

What hurt me about her e-mail was the last line, stating that she was leaving shortly for her honeymoon. I had no idea that she had gotten married.

I knew she was engaged; this occurred the month before the pandemic started. But I didn't know about her wedding (held on the West Coast). No one ever informed me even though my West Coast cousins attended the wedding.

I am hurt by the lack of communication. I let them know it wasn't about not being invited to the wedding; it was about not being told about it.

Last year, the daughter of another cousin had a "COVID" wedding. We all watched it via Zoom. I let my family know that I understood that sometimes it isn't possible to invite everyone in the family to a wedding, but a Zoom call would have been nice.

I feel now that I no longer have family on the West Coast. Am I wrong to feel that way?

Weddings can be extremely complicated social and family events, and sometimes marrying couples deliberately don't invite people to their weddings because they don't want them to feel pressured to go to the trouble and expense to attend. It's possible that you fell into that category. Or the couple limited their guest list because of finances or venue size, and you didn't make the cut.

Or they messed up.

The "Zoom wedding" has opened up possibilities regarding various layers and levels of wedding guests (thank you, pandemic), and I agree with you that viewing a wedding from the comfort of your own living room has its charms.

But some people don't want to broadcast their weddings, and it is their right to host the wedding that they want to have.

You are upset and hurt. And you have magnified your disappointment it into a blooming estrangement. That is an extremely unfortunate choice, and I urge you to rethink it. You have an elderly ill aunt on the West Coast. She deserves more of your actual and emotional attention than this wedding snub does.

It was cute when he was smaller, now it's downright embarrassing. He makes his bed and neatly folds his blanket on top of the pillow along with the stuffed animal.

He's going to college next year. I'm afraid if he shows up in his dorm room he will be ridiculed forever. I haven't spoken to my son about this. None of my business?

Amy says: This 17-year-old makes his bed? Please, send him to my house!

What about his loving behavior is embarrassing to you? The fact that he brings his most cherished and comforting friends along with him, and that he treats his possessions — and yours — so respectfully? In my opinion, you should be honored.

He's fine. He will not be the only young person to bring comfort objects on his life's journey. Let this go. It most definitely is none of your business.