Dear Amy: Eighteen months ago, a friend gave me two highly collectible vintage items. I had always loved them, and she said she didn't care for them anymore.

About a year ago she abruptly moved across the country to live with her boyfriend, and she cut all contact; it's clear that she has no intention of speaking with me again.

I still have the items she gave to me, and while I do like them, because our relationship ended on a sour note, I don't want to keep them. They're quite valuable — about $800 for the pair — so my first instinct is to sell them. But to complicate things, I'm really great friends with her brother, "James," who still lives in my city.

James and his sister shared the items in childhood (a gift from their mother), and so I'm feeling torn. Would it be rude of me to sell them? His sister told me that he doesn't have any interest in keeping them.

Should I ask permission to sell them? If he says yes, should I give him a portion of the money? Or Is it OK to just sell them and keep the money?

Amy says: These items were given to you, and, because they are now your property, you have the right to sell them. However, because you still have a close relationship with James, the ethical thing to do is to offer these items to him first.

Tell James that because your relationship with his sister seems to have faded, you wonder if he would like to have these family heirlooms. Even if he doesn't want them, he might choose to pass them along to another family member.

If James tells you he's not interested, you should tell him you'd like to sell them. Transparency will help to preserve your friendship with him. Whether to share the money with him is a judgment call — it's not necessary to offer.

Insult's sting lingers

Dear Amy: Five years ago, my husband and I were invited to spend a week at the beautiful home of a couple we know (but don't know well). They had other guests, too, and they were wonderful hosts.

The last night of our stay, the group (10 adults) went out for dinner. Everyone had a lot to drink. We were all engaged in a spirited discussion about politics. In the course of this, the husband raised his voice and directed some extremely personal and completely disparaging remarks at my husband.

The evening screeched abruptly to a halt. We didn't react, but were quite stunned, and left early the next day to catch our flight.

The wife apologized; the husband didn't, and I sent them a cordial note and gift, thanking them for their generosity. Then they moved away, and we forgot about them.

I just got a text from the wife; they're back in town, and she says they want to get together. We do not hold a grudge, but we don't want to spend time with someone who so obviously does not like or respect one of us.

I don't know how to react. Should I ghost her? Explain things? Let it all go?

Amy says: Ghosting seems easy — you just ignore them — but it gets complicated when others don't read the signal and you run into them at the supermarket.

I vote for a phone call. Don't blame or shame, but explain your interpretation of this long-ago event. Then listen to what the wife has to say.

Send questions to Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com.