Dear Amy: Some of my family members are going to have a mini family reunion in Paris (where my brother lives) in a few months. My brother's son, wife and their two young children will be flying to Paris from Istanbul, and I will be flying from Los Angeles.

My nephew's family and I will be staying at the same hotel. Several times my brother has mentioned that his son and family are coming to Paris "especially to see the uncle from America." In light of those repeated comments, do you think it would be the right thing to do for me to pay for the family's hotel bill during their week's visit in Paris?

And yes, I can afford to pay. But do I need to?

Amy says: Thank you for asking a question that will be met by a universal sigh: "What a nice problem to have."

Your nephew and his family are traveling for a family reunion, which will include his father (grandparent to the children). Presumably these family members have spent time together previously.

I infer that your nephew and his wife have not spent much (if any) time with you, and that their children possibly have never met you. You can imagine their excitement and curiosity about meeting their American uncle.

Your brother is passing along this family's excitement, not asking for you to foot their bill or implying that you should. But if they are in need or you want to be generous, then paying for their hotel bill would be a very kind thing to do.

Otherwise, I hope you will bring some small gifts from Los Angeles, perhaps take them to lunch or to a museum, and — if you all hit it off — you could invite them to visit you in your home, and foot the bill when they do.

Coming clean

Dear Amy: I am a middle-age single woman and recently started seeing a man my age. He is a really sweet, smart, and respectful man. We share a lot of common interests.

He recently invited me to his home for the first time, and it is fairly disgusting. Not just messy, but dirty to the point of being unhealthy, with food waste and dirty dishes and pots on the counters.

I'm unsure about what to say to him about the state of his house. I truly don't ever want to spend time there. Up until then we had always gone out or come to my house, which is clean — in a normal sense. (I'm not a clean freak or anything.)

Should I tell him about how I feel about his house and ask him to clean it up before I visit again?

Amy says: He is a mature person who is making choices about how he is living. I'm not sure asking him to clean his house would be useful.

When most people have company over to their homes, they put their best foot forward. If that's his idea of doing so, it tells you a lot about him.

You should be honest about where you choose to spend your time: "I'm not comfortable in your house; it is too messy for me to feel at home there."

I do think it's important that you understand the reality of a future with someone who doesn't take good care of himself and his surroundings.

You can continue to enjoy his company, but don't kid yourself that you will be able to inspire him to live differently. If you two end up cohabiting, you will end up being continually frustrated by his poor life-skills.

Send questions to Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com.